Scene is a Victorian public school. Part of a series of sketches.
Victorian Fags
Part 1
[He emerges into a Victorian room dressed as a schoolboy senior. He joins another fag in front of a roaring fire they are playing chess]
Sfx: A knock at the door.
Marcus:
Fabian it’s your turn.
Fabian:
Marcus old boy, I just went.
Marcus:
The door.
Fabian:
Oh God. Do I have to? It’ll only be those sniveling little borders again.
Marcus:
Yes Fabian you do.
[He walks across room and opens the door. Stood there is a young lad. He is visibly shivering]
Fabian:
Yes Armitage, what is it this time?
Armitage:
Its Ursa Minor sir, he’s had an accident.
Fabian:
Really. You borders have to learn to stand on your own two feet sometime. Have you not been reading your Scouting for Boys book Armitage? Chapter twenty four. Elementary first aid. Patch him up old boy patch him up.
Armitage:
I don’t think I can sir.
[He waves his hand]
Sfx: A heavy object being pushed.
[A block of ice is pushed in front of the doorway]
Armitage:
He was bathing and everything just froze. We had to hack him out of the bath with Adkins’ pen knife.
Fabian:
[To Marcus] My God! Get me the bucket and your ice axe immediately Marcus.
[Marcus appears at the door with the items and gives them to Fabian. He goes back into room. Fabian chips some of the ice into the bucket. He closes door]
Fabian:
Scotch on the rocks Marcus?
Sfx- Heavy object being pushed.
Marcus:
Spiffin. I’ll get the glasses.
