Post Office

This is part of a series of sketches. Does it stand up on it's own chap and chapettes?

Scene 4- The Post Office
The Queue

Old Woman:[At counter]
One hundred and twenty-two second class stamps please.

Postal worker:
[Looking up]

Oh no. Not you again.

[Her hand reaches for a red panic button that has Mrs Bridges written on it but then she takes it away and starts counting out stamps]

Old Woman:
Nice day.

Postal worker:
[Looks at her suspiciously and moves hand over button]

Yes, it was.

[Beat]

Old Woman:
I had a letter the other day. It was from my son.

Postal worker:

[Hand moves closer to button]
That’s nice.

Old Woman:
He told me that my grandson……..

[Postal worker presses button franticly]

Is really very advanced for his age. He’s top of his class in nearly…..

[A topless fat bloke in a leather mask comes from a side door and hits her to floor with a baseball bat. He returns and next person steps over her body to get served.

Not bad, quite good fun, but maybe some twists where you're not sure if the old lady is going to doom herself or not?

Yeh. Maybe she could look at the button anxiously. Ie she knows whats going to happen but just can't help herself. Pause for thought me thinks.

Like I'd like to know more about your broadband plans

Really Mrs Smegma

Yes my son was saying it's so much cheaper in Australia, did I tell you..

Thanks sooty this was the first in a series of 3 and your idea has given me the cue for the next!

I don't get it.

Kinda funny though.

Pop into the post office on pension day. Be sure you take a baseball bat. You'll want to use it.

I really liked it. You always get one of them. I want to glass them.

But you never have glass with you eh