Thanks roscoff. The idea was to do redraft after redraft, squeezing in as many gags as I could, but with a flat-sharing sitcom like this and the characters the way they are, I can't see much room for that, although I'm going to give it a bloody good try.
My next project was going to be an Airplane-esque spoof, which would allow me to do the above.
Again, thank you.
Did someone say something? No? Oh OK, never mind...
ticked along nicely didnt really set the world on fire, if continued on current probably be a nice middle of the road comedy, which of course there is nothing wrong with.
Best character for me was Patrick every time he appeared he stole the scene. I think if you go back and layer the dialgoue you'll be onto a winner, because we "know" the characters already, just do something that sets yourself apart from the pack.
Cheers Gav, I'm glad the Patrick character worked even though he has the least development. I think I am going to have to go in there and shake their world up, much helpful advice.
Thanks.
Like it. I'd maybe make Patrick French. He sounds it.
Cheers Cheech.
O for f**ks sake. I thought it sounded familiar when I read it. In addition to last years comments, the gym guy seemed a bit Lauren from Catherine Tate now I've read it again.
Do I get repeat fees if you read it twice? Thanks anyway mate. Wouldn't know about anything Catherine Tate, but I'll have a look into it.