Ext. Council Estate
Shot of a council house. The garden is packed full of junk.
Commentator: (O.O.V) Welcome back to ‘Worst Garden of The Year 2008’. We’re on to the final contestant now, Mr Frank Rupper. Runner up for the last 3 years, is this to be his year at last?
Two judges with clipboards and Frank Rupper walk into the garden. The judges start looking at the rubbish
Commentatot: (O.O.V) There’s the two judges, along with Frank. He’s certainly upped his game this year. Where last year he had just 2 upturned shopping trolleys, this year he has 4. One of which contains 14 soiled nappies.
The judges start pointing at something and look concerned.
Commentator: (O.O.V) And what’s this? The judges are asking if they’ve just seen a blade of grass growing. If it is, and I think it may be, it could be yet another year of disappointment for Frank. Wait, wait, no, no it was just a dead slug.
The judges start making some notes on their clipboard.
Commentator: (O.O.V) He’s going to have to really pull something out of the bag, though, to beat Mr Smythe’s attempt down at number 18. I for one, will never forget the smell we encountered there of that rotten pot noodle.
The judges start digging about in the rubbish and produce an old can.
Commentator: (O.O.V) Would you look at that?! It may look like an ordinary baked bean tin to the novice, but if I’m right, that’s a 1987 tin. And yes! There’s a used condom in there! I’d say that just about takes Frank level with Mr Smythe.
A dog runs into the garden and starts barking.
Commentator: (O.O.V) Oh my word! A dog! A dog is in the garden! This really could be make or break time for Frank. A freshly laid turd could really win it for him.
Frank produces a gun and shoots the dog.
Commentator: What a masterstroke! A dead dog! The judges confer and… Yes! It’s Frank! Frank Rupper finally wins ‘Worst Garden of The Year’. Well done, Frank.
The judges pin a rosette to Frank. Cheers go up.
ENDS
