EXT. EMPTY FIELD - DAY ONE
TONY ROBINSON walks earnestly towards the camara.
TONY R
(To Camera)
....So, we're going to try and work
out what exactly went on at this
site and hopefully answer a few
questions for this puzzled island
community -- As usual, we have just
three days.
TIME TEAM musical sting and titles.
INT. TENT - DAY ONE
Tony is sat on the edge of a folding table which is covered
in ground plans and schematics.
TONY R
(To Camera)
It's Day One, we've only been here
two hours and already John from
Geophys and Stewart our Lumps and
Bumps man are at loggerheads over
where to place Trench One.
CUT TO:
INT. CORNER OF TENT - CONTINUOUS
STEWART AINSWORTH is crouched, in a foetal position, rocking
from side to side.
JOHN GATER is looking over a pile of printouts.
STEWART A
The cellar.. look in the cellar..
it's in the cellar.. the cellar..
the cellar... we used to go the
cellar... they took us to the
cellar...
JOHN G
Sorry mate, I don't agree, there's
no strong anomalies. Nothing's
showing up on the ground radar.
FADE TO:
INT. DINGY ROOM - DAY TWO
Tony is crouching next to a trench in which stands PHIL
HARDING.
TONY R
(To camera)
The morning of Day Two and we've
already had some fascinating finds,
Phil?
PHIL H
'Ow ar' yeah. Over in Trench Two we
'ad what we think could be 'uman
remains and down at Trench Four
they've found some sort of
metalwork.
TONY R
Mick was saying it looks like a
type of chain.
PHIL H
Aye right, and we've just uncovered
this.
Phil holds up a large strapon dildo.
TONY R
That's beautiful. It looks similar
to the Phalluses I've seen on Roman
digs. Do you think it had some kind
of ritual use?
PHIL H
No, I think the f**kers just used
to ram it up the kids arse.
END.
kjs
