Ken Livingstone is giving a press conference
Ken
I would like to apologise for the giant bendy buses that have been terrorising
London since I became mayor. They’re lethal to cyclists, squashing them like
bugs, swatting them like flies, crushing them like giant red dinosaurs into a
sticky, wet, mewling mess. From today all bendy buses will be restricted to
circling Boris Johnsons house, night, and day, mess with me you posh bastard,
this is my city, my city, mine and Hugo Chavez’s. I would also like to announce that
I have made another deal with another socialist Latin American leader. People on
incapacity benefit, and pensioners will next week be able to buy 50% cheaper
cocaine thanks to my ground breaking deal with Enrique Morales of Bolivia. Viva la revoloucion.