Few months ago, loads of stuff on General Petraeus supersmart general in charge of US military in Iraq. I wrote loads of stuff at the time, thought I'd dig 'em out. Will write something new at some point.
Don’t Petraeus
General Petraeus is giving a press conference.
Petraeus
Good evening ladies and gentlemen of the press, I am General Petraeus Commander in chief US forces in Iraq, and with a PhD from Princeton, possibly the smartest man in the US army. I am hear tonight, to show how the new troop surge is working and that I am not merely a mouthpiece for President Bush. Now if you will look at the map of Baghdad behind me,
A suited adviser walks on, and hands Petraeus a piece of paper. Petraeus mimes an argument with the adviser shrugs and reads the paper.
Petraeus
I big important army guy, we find bad Arabs, we kick their butts, then we find good Arabs and then we kick their butts too, cos there’s no such thing as a good Arab. I can’t read this it’s in crayon. Now if we look at the map of force deployment in Baghdad
Adviser hands Petraeus another piece of paper Petraeus reads it.,
Petraeus
Correction I am a bid dumb doody head, with a smelly butt, and I like to kiss Arabs, on the butt, and if I don’t do as I’m told I will be sacked. Ok back to troop deployments in Iraq, if we look at surge increases in reinforcement.
Adviser hands Petraeus another sheet of paper Petraeus reads it.
Petraeus
Oh Tony, oh Tony, you are no phoney, I look forward to the day, when you will ride me like a pony. Oh my God what is this stuff all over it?
Adviser snatches back the sheet; Petraeus disgustedly wipes hand on trousers.
Adviser
Sorry wrong sheet.