Ticket Inspector

Ticket inspector
Tickets please.

Passenger
They’re you go

Ticket inspector
Thank you sir, were you planning on blowing up this train?

Passenger
No

Ticket inspector
Are you sure, I mean it’s very crowded your ticket was £30, the toilets don’t work, I’d be tempted to martyr my self.

Passenger
No now leave me alone I’m reading the new Andy McNabb, operation Arab kill.

Ticket inspector
I’m sorry sir, new government regulations, oh look we’ve stopped suddenly and the lights are flickering on and off, if I was you I’d want to blow this train up. I’ve got some semtex in the guards van.

Passenger
For the love of God I do not want to blow this train up, I am not in Al Quaeda.

Ticket inspector
I am, maybe next time, tickets please, next stop paradise hopefully,

Nice idea Sootyj but it lacks direction and a final destination and i'm only using those words cos i'm trying to be clever But yeah it needs an ending in my humble opinion

Past it's sell by date I suspect. Written at the time, Gordy Brown was suggesting ticket inspectors should ask us if we were terrorists. At the same time it was revealed that the security staff at Heathrow, the Home Office were unsecurity checked, and many were illegal immigrants. Even for a soggy old liberal like me, that was a step to far.

Hence not so long ago the final punch line
Passenger
For the love of God I do not want to blow this train up, I am not in Al Quaeda.

Ticket inspector
I am, maybe next time, tickets please, next stop paradise hopefully,

Had a bigger impact. Oh well, surgery time, lets see if we can make this beast live.