War crimes

A tour guide is showing two tourists around,

Tour guide
So here’s where the systematic beatings took place, next we’ll see the torture room, and finally where the unfortunate victims were finally killed.

Tourist1
The Jersey museum of the Nazi occupation is fascinating.

Tourist2
Those Nazis certainly were an evil bunch.

Tour guide
Sorry the war crimes museum is next door, this is a childrens home. The German’s were lovely after we handed over all the Jews, and that Mrs Higginson, who though she was better than she was.

Good one.

Yeah, nice one. Not a huge fan of topical stuff (or cream) but this was good.

Very quick and very good

I must practice my lol

Got it

Delighted that about the most unPC skit I've written since Maddys audition has had such a positive response. Will now work on one where George Bush goes missing in Pria De Luz.

Thanks all.

Don't mention the M word for fukk sake!

Good sketch but shorten the last line

True, I undercut the punch a bit, oh well.

If anything needs adapting it's this line:
Tourist1
The Jersey museum of the Nazi occupation is fascinating.

Which is too blatantly expository.

I'd try for something less in-your-face:

Tour guide
Here’s where the systematic beatings took place... next we’ll see the torture room, and finally where the unfortunate victims were finally killed. How are you finding Jersey, ladies and gents?

Tourist
Pretty grisly, ma'am. Those Nazis certainly were an evil bunch.

Tour guide
Evil?

Tourist
They don't call it the war crimes museum for nothing, lady!

Tour guide
Oh dear no, they don't call it that at all, this is a childrens home. The Germans were lovely after we handed over all the Jews.
*
But anyway, I thought it was a funny sketch with a solid punchline.

Good solid advice, but in this skit I'm venting fury.

Fury at a bunch of tax dodging, Bergerac loving hypocrites. Who didn't notice the whole sale murder, and abuse of vulnerable children, under their very noses. Maybe I'm a tad racist, a nation that cheerfully handed over the entire Jewish population, used Nazi slave labour, seems quite a good target for blinding ignorance with regards to serial child abuse.

Some times humour I find the best route to expressing righteous anger.

I think you need to read some more detailed accounts of what actually happened. Saying they 'cheerfully handed over the entire Jewish population' is both wrong and offensive.

Also, plenty of child abuse cases have happened in the UK, so I'm not quite sure where this anti-Jersey bile has come from.

That said, the sketch is decent, just your history sucks ;-)

Glad you liked the sketch, the Jersey bile is all about the recent news reports, on that children's home. We're talking about systematic abuse in a small community, and systematic abuse of the worst kind. With more evidence coming out about obstruction of any meaningful investigation.

n.b. with regards to the Jews

http://www.holocaustresearchproject.org/nazioccupation/channelislands.html http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/9-4-2002-25788.asp

Ok so they weren't the worst but they didn't cover themselves in glory

Seems similar to serial abuse in Ireland, for example the Magdalane laundries, where the Catholic CHurch was reflecting preexisting cultural prejudices#.

I studied Nazism for 18 months at university, so I'm fairly well read on the subject.

Perhaps that should be I studied the history of Nazism - I didn't take lectures in goosestepping.

My point is that there's a fine line between being a bang-on topical and a personal vendetta. The sketch is fine, but the way you backed it up sounded more like the latter. Nazism is essentially based on national and racial stereotypes so there's a certain irony that in your defence you come out with a huge generalisation about people in Jersey.

Also, don't forget that anyone with a few pounds and an opinion can publish stuff on the internet - it doesn't make it accurate.

Kill her.

Him