Gordon Brown is talking to Michael Martin.
Gordon
Mr Martin it’s nothing personal but as Prime Minister, I am going to check all MPs expenses personally.
Michael
That’s fine PM, here’s my lunch expenses, as an MP I don’t have to give a receipt for anything up to £250.
Gives Gordon a receipt
Gordon
£249.99 for a sandwich that’s outrageous.
Michael
Silly me I forgot to add £249.99 for a can of Tango, and £249.99 for my cheesy Quavers.
Gordon
This is ridiculous.
Pete Haine joins the queue.
Peter
Too right grumpy, I’ve got receipts for 4,000 cheese and onion sandwiches and a carton of Um Bongo.
Gordon
This is ridiculous, I’m off to lunch.
Peter
But it’s only 11.30 AM.
Gordon
Me and Alistair Darling have 1,000,000 cheese and pickle sandwiches to eat, and no Umbungo, thanks Peter, you know it’s my favourite.