British Comedy Guide

Dice Sketch

I gave up on my A - Z of sketches. Mostly because I was struggling with a C. Anyway, here is what my D was going to be!

Int. Front Room

Tony, Steve and Chris are sat around a table. They have a board game on the table. Tony has the dice.

Tony: I would like my orc to receive wizard training.

Steve: Roll the dice then. 1 to 6 he gets nothing, 7 to 12 he gets his training.

Tony rolls the dice. He scores 3.

Steve: Not this time, Tony! Chris, it's your turn.

Steve hands the dice over to Chris. Chris checks his watch.

Chris: Oh Christ! Look at the time! I really gotta head off.

Chris gets up to leave, but Steve grabs hold of his shoulder and pushes him back down.

Steve: No, no, no. You don't just get up and go.

Chris: I've really got to go though.

Steve: You know the rules of the game.

Chris: What?

Steve: Roll the dice! 1 to 6 you stay, 7 to 12 you go.

Chris: You can't do that.

Steve: I don't make the rules.

Tony: He's right, Chris. Hasbro make the rules.

Chris: This is ridiculous.

Steve: ROLL!

Chris rolls the dice. He scores 4.

Steve: Looks like your staying.

Chris: I'm just gonna keep on saying the same one until I can go.

Steve: We'll see about that won't we, Tony.

Tony: Steve, no. Please don't do this

Chris: What?

Steve picks up the dice.

Steve: I'd like Chris to stay here forever. 1 to 6 he can go right now, 7 to 12 he becomes my pet.

Chris: What?! You can't do that!

Steve: Oh yes I can, Chrissy.

Steve rolls the dice. He scores 12. He does a fist pump to celebrate.

Chris: Right, I'm going.

Steve: You know the rules.

Chris gets up to go. Tony jumps up and holds him down in his chair. Tony is close to tears.

Tony: Just play the game. Please! Play the game!

Steve: Oh look. I rolled a double six as well. That means I get an extra demand met.

Steve gets up and goes to leave.

Chris: Where are you going?!

Steve: To get the....branding iron.

Chris: You can't do this!

Tony: Oh yes he can.

Tony lifts up his top to reveal a large branding mark on his chest which reads “STEVE’S”

ENDS

Nice punch, and a good shaggy dog format. Only thing is, I've been a RPGer my self, and is this not a bi of an obscure reference?

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