Elsa & Mauve 2

INT
2 old ladies in a tea room.

ELSA
That bloody daughter of mine has finally gotten around to visiting me. Selfish Bitch.

MAUVE
Well she does live in Australia. However did she manage?

ELSA
I just rang her, pretended to gasp for air, then hung up. I avoided her calls for a month. That got her round.

MAUVE
My son finally got round to visiting me. Ungrateful Twat.

ELSA
Well he does live in New Zealand. However did he manage?

MAUVE
Oh I just sent him a letter saying I was dead. He was straight back then.

ELSA
Children just don’t care these days. They only come & see you if it’s a dire emergency. If I had known how my daughter would turn out. I would never have let her sleep in the cupboard. I would have given her a boring bed.

MAUVE
I agree. If I had known how my son would turn out. I would never have got him adopted. I would have kept the Evil Bastard.

ELSA & MAUVE SHAKE THEIR HEADS IN DESPERATION.

CLOSE

Some good lines - needs some working on but the basis of something there.

A bit like Mrs Brady in Viz

Love the 'just rang her, pretended to gasp for air, then hung up' line

It's good Charley, what about they only turn up to stock take and check out their inheritance

I like these, how about them being racist about home help?

Do you send your stuff anywhere?

Quote: sootyj @ February 27, 2008, 11:47 PM

I like these, how about them being racist about home help?

View original

That made me think of my Grandma

Is she a racist. I'm a racist, last week I beat up the Grand National.

Well shes Irish Catholic. Does that answer your question? (I luvs post modernanism)