Valley of the Kings

EXT - THE VALLEY OF THE KINGS - DAY

AN ARCHEOLOGIST EMERGES FROM A NEWLY DISCOVERED TOMB IN THE VALLEY OF THE KINGS. HE IS CARRYING A SMALL STATUE.

ARCHEOLOGIST:
I always knew it was there. The tomb of Skyplus has been discovered and we now excavate it in the coming months. Who knows what it will reveal?

EGYPTIAN REPORTER:
But my friend, are you not worried about the ancient curse? It is said that if Skyplus is disturbed from his eternal repose then death shall swiftly befall he who defiles the tomb.

ARCHEOLOGIST:
Not that load of old nonsense surely? They said that about King Tut didn't they? And who came to any harm when they opened his tomb?

EGYPTIAN REPORTER:
What about Lord Carnarvon? He died shortly after discovering King Tut's tomb my friend.

ARCHEOLOGIST:
Did he? Gerraway! Here you're pulling my leg!

EGYPTIAN REPORTER:
No my friend it is quite true and he was not the last either.

ARCHEOLOGIST:
Well that's not going to happen to me. I shall be rich and live until my old age. Silly superstitions. I have no time for them.

THE ARCHEOLOGIST IS MAKING HIS WAY THROUGH THE MEDIA SCRUM WHEN SUDDENLY A SATTELITE DISH ON ONE OF THE O.B. VANS FALLS OFF HITTING HIM ON THE HEAD AND KILLING HIM INSTANTLY.

EGYPTIAN REPORTER
Don't be a victim to the curse of Skyplus. Buy a V+ system today and enjoy free installation.

ARCHEOLOGIST:
Oh I get it now. Sky...Plus. Very good indeed. Most amusing. Oh sorry I'm dead aren't I?

END:

I liked it

For a simple joke, it's a tad over written. otherwise nice.

Ditto sootyj.
I will add though that I thought it was nicely written all the same.

i do like the way it has a sudden reveal to the real world, in that it's a filming van that kills him.

Ta Up4it glad you liked it.

Sootyj & Ian

I know what you mean but disagree in this instance.

It's meant to be that way as the joke is only dropped in at the end. The idea is to make it seem a plausible exchange between the two characters thus the red-herring of the curse etc.

It's a bit wordy as these kind of exchanges often are and I wanted it to be slightly whimsical also with the Lord carnarvon reference and someone who is supposed to be an archeologist not knowing a very well known story, in fact one in his own particular field.

I know that I could go back and remove, streamline and cut out some of the dialogue but I think that the impact of the silly reveal would then be lost. The viewer needs to buy into the idea they are watching some kind of programme and not an advert, which in fact this is.

There are two schools of thought in sketch writing. Bare minimum bang bang bang or slower build. I like both myself but see this one as being one of the latter

I think you have an ace skit, but on reread I think the vplus thinking is a distraction that softens an excellent punch. The idea of a very silly advert related curse is a stonker, and you have the feel pretty much right, but that vplus....

Hi Sooty

Problem is if I do that then it doesn't have an awful lot of purpose as it's really an ad' skit. I was going to mention the word ad' in the header but it would give the game away too early.