How Iraq works
Three people are standing in a row, one has a kefiya, one has a helmet, one is bare headed , ideally tallest to shortest, George Bush stands inform of them
George
People often ask me, George how do those screwy casualty figures in Iraq work, well let me show you,
Helmet
I am a member of an Iraqi militia working for the US army in Iraq
Kefiya
I am a terrorist insurgent
Bare
I am an innocent civilian
Helmet
If I shoot him it is not murder I’ve killed an insurgent, and if I shoot her she was probably an insurgent as well.
Kefiya
If I shoot him, or I shoot her then they’re both innocent victims.
Bare
I don’t go outside much.
Helmet
I am in a militia, because the US pays me $200 a month, to bring democracy to Iraq.
Kefiya
I am in Al quaeda because Bin Laden pays me $150 a month, to bring Shariah law to Iraq.
Bare
I don’t get paid, I know my place.
Helmet
If I shoot a fellow militia, then he was probably an insurgent as well, I get a bonus every time I shoot an insurgent.
Bare
So all some one has to be, to be an insurgent is to be shot by some one the US is paying.
Kefiya
So if I join US militia I shoot more people and get more money,
George Bush gives him a gun, and money.
George
That’s democracy in action! Have $200 and a shiny glock.
Helmet and Kefiya chase Bare off the stage.
George
That’s democracy in action, as long as every one killing people in Iraq is paid by us, then every one killed is an insurgent, and nobody’s murdered. Next month why more gun ownership would have prevented Coumbine
This is why I don't edit much
Based on a true story about US paying miltias from a couple of months ago