Set in a supported living project for the learning disabled, chaz is doing community service, dave had moderate learning disabilities. They've been shoplifting to order.
Scene 3 The day room in the home
Chaz
Right then boys, and girls lets see what we’ve got. Now Alan you wanted a copy of “World of War craft III,”
Dave hands him a disc, takes money off of him.
Dave
Tina, and Jason got your vouchers for the London
Dungeon.
Hands over an envelope to them, takes money off of him.
Dave
And Denzel that magazine your mum won’t let you buy.
Hands over a brown paper envelope, takes money off of him
Dave
Don’t open it hear mate,
Chaz
We don’t all want to go blind, bedrooms best place.
Carole Hello chaps what’s going on here.
Chaz
Oh erm we did some, shopping for the guys, and gals on the way back from the day centre, Chaz made the most beautiful bird house, didn’t you mate.
DaveFantastic it was, with like a little bed, and working windows, and..
Carole
AndEppy Brian smashed it up…..again. Like when you made that porcelain cup, or when you made that scale model of the Bayeux tapestry and he ate it,
ChazHe’s a terrible philistine that Eppy Brian.
Carole
Does he even exist, I mean if I was to contact the St Bridgett’s day centre, and ask about an “Eppy Brian” would they know who I was talking about?
DaveYeh he’s like Qunetin Crisp, but with developmental disability, and a heavy thermos, for smashing stuff.
Chaz
Mate leave it we’re rumbled, done up like a kipper
Dave
It’s a fair cop, were bang to rights, we’ll come quietly
They break into an improtu version of It wasn’t me, with the rest of the group joining in, before holding out their wrists as if to receive cuffs.
CaroleOk, enough already, now for that shopping you do have a receipt for every one,
Dave
Erm, ah, it’s gifts, it’s the shops were giving stuff away, it’s a special early Christmas, for the learning disabled.
Carole
And the money?
Chaz
Donation.
Carole snatches the money.
Carole
This will go nicely in the holiday fund, Butlins here we
come.
General cheering.
Chaz starts wandering off.
Carole
Not so fast Chaz we need to have a chat, don’t we mate.