Delia Smith is being interviewed in a supermarket.
Interviewer
Delia Smith, you’ve been accused of in your latest book, promoting junk food you’d never dream of using your self.
Delia
Rubbish, I wouldn’t recommend I haven’t tried my self.
Interviewer
Well seeing as we are Tesco, could you recommend some products the average family could buy?
Delia
Wells there this lovely breakfast cereal, these dry Swedish crackers, and this yummy mayonnaise
Interviewer
Delia you’ve just picked out cat litter, blank CDs, and that yummy mayonnaise is anal lubricant, you know nothing of ordinary peoples shopping.
Delia
Well I know all about getting well lubricated.
Swigs from bottle.
Delia
Come on Norwich, we can do it, oh God I think I’m going to make some thick soup with my left overs from lunch.
Vomits noisily.