Shock Value

A bit rough and ready - inspired by the Tonight special on Stephen Wright (Suffolk serial killer). Is this worth persevering with?

Cheers:

NEWS INTRO. PRESENTER TALKING TO SCREEN

PRESENTER (SPEAKING DRAMATICALLY): Tonight on Shock Value we investigate Jack Braggins, the London serial killer. He received 27 consecutive life sentences today, but the questions don't end with his incarceration. Tonight, with Jack behind bars, we ask:

(INCREASINGLY DRAMATIC)

What next for the victims' families? Will they have peace?

Are there more. Did Jack's tally stop at 27 or are there more secrets to be uncovered?

Jack appeared normal, are all serial killers seemingly normal?

(DRAMATIC MUSIC KICKS IN)

Could the nice man next door be a monster?

Could your husband be a secret rapist?

Was your granddad a Nazi?

Is this music dramatic enough?

Have we scared you into watching yet?

Can we get more mileage out of this topic?

Should I have Trevor McDonald's job?

-All this tonight on Shock Value, sponsored by Shock Waves from Loreal.

Hmm...
I thought as it stands it's an idea that could work but the present execution wasn't as sharp as it needs to be. It needed more "bite" IMO as I don't really think it's that original an observation...?

This certainly has potential but it needs a few more funnies.

A funnier name than Jack Braggins would help and I'd lose the reference to the 'secret rapist'. Nothing wrong with a comedy rape, of course, but some people are sensitive and there are funnier things you could use. 'Secret Morris dancer' would get a great laugh in that line - as long as you wrote it, of course. If I wrote it, someone would ask what was funny about Morris dancers and I'd have to write an essay on comedy images or else tell them to f**k off.

Keep going with it.

Quote: FoxyBox @ February 22, 2008, 10:07 PM

If I wrote it, someone would ask what was funny about Morris dancers and I'd have to write an essay on comedy images or else tell them to f**k off.

Keep going with it.

View original

What is so funny about Morris Dancing? It is a fine long-standing olde Englishe tradition.

Thanks guys - 2 positive, one on the fence and one who wants to defend Morris Dancing.

Foxy - I'd rather make Morris Dancing a seperate sketch. How I hate those bastards, I once had 8 of them dancing in front of my car in car park and they wouldn't move until I gave them some money. A mugging by men with jingle bells, knee length socks and silly sticks is highly demeaning.

I think if Steven Wright had killed Morris Dancers he would have got a lot more sympathetic treatment from the judge.

Quote: Barbs @ February 22, 2008, 10:31 PM

I think if Steven Wright had killed Morris Dancers he would have got a lot more sympathetic treatment from the judge.

View original

I thought you meant the Yank comedian.

I thought it was a great sketch. Loved the tag!

And I have discovered Dave Chapman is a morris dancer.

Quote: Charley @ February 22, 2008, 11:14 PM

I thought it was a great sketch. Loved the tag!

And I have discovered Dave Chapman is a morris dancer.

View original

But I keep falling off the bonnet.

It's an ok idea, but I think maybe each line needs to get increasingly 'something'. Be it absurd, offensive or angry.

Quote: David Chapman @ February 22, 2008, 10:36 PM

I thought you meant the Yank comedian.

View original

Now I would definitely pay to watch Steven Wright murder prostitues...

That would be one hell of an evenings entertainment. The deapan musing of Mr Wright intersperesed with the screams of dieing whores, the stage littered with twitching corpses... I'm there.

kjs

It works it's good, it's got a clean dark punch, send it will go places.