Shop
Welcome to Moods the off license?
Man
Moods?
Shop
Yes we are a rather unusual off license, we only sell alcoholic beverages that match sirs mood.
Man
Eh?
Shop
Well sir, if you were feeling aggressive, we would sell you a bottle of Buck Fast, and a bottle of Perrier. The Bucky to give you the desire for combat, and the Perrier to carry out the deed, with out wasting a precious purple drop.
ManWhat if I wished to impress my boss at a dinner party?
Shop
A bottle of Californian, Blossom, Cloud, vintage 1978 Chardonnay made from grapes picked by virgin students.
ManIf he passed me over for a promotion?
Shop
We would sell sir a bottle of Spa Blue Nun, made from the dregs of the Bulgarian wine lake. Same wine as the Blossom in a nastier bottle.
Man
And if I was watching Scotland try for the European football championship?
ShopA bottle of our finest arsenic.
ManArsenic, are you mental?
Shop
No sir, it’s just that neither of will see Scotland succeed at that in either of our life times.
Another non topical, so strike me down, and I will come back more powerful than you could possibly imagine
