Int. Courtroom
Mohammad Al Fayed is stood opposite a judge.
Judge: I believe, Mr Al Fayed, that you are accusing Prince Phillip of killing your son.
Al Fayed: Yes and I have many other accusations about that coward as well.
Judge: Your son?
Al Fayed: NO! The coward that is Prince Phillip!
Judge: If you would please proceed.
Al Fayed: In an attempt to ruin my livelihood he had Harrods bombed in 1983.
Judge: But you didn't take it over til 1985.
Al Fayed: Structural damage! It caused structural damage that I had to put right!
Judge: I really dont see how-
Al Fayed: And when this repair work was taking place, I go to see the builders and I get a splinter off a beam!
Judge: Mr Al Fayed would you please-
Al Fayed: Can you imagine it! Me! The Great Mohammad Al Fayed with a splinter!
Judge: We're here to discuss what happened in Paris.
Al Fayed: Ok, Ok. I was staying in the Paris Ritz and came out of the shower to find my slippers missing.
Judge: And you think it was him?!
Al Fayed: Of course it was! The room stunk of Feta cheese!
Judge: I believe you're going off course and-
Al Fayed: That Phillip is a sneaky, inbred, racist, murdering, satanist bastard.
Judge: That's nonsense. His parents were happily married.
ENDS
