Euphemism Man (2 quick sketches)

Here are a couple of little sketches that I literally have just thought about. I really have not got a clue if they work at all. I'll let you decide! Thanks.

Sketch 1

(RETRO MUSIC AND A SCREEN THAT SAYS EUPHEMISM MAN, CUTS TO POLICE MAN IN HOUSE, THERE ARE OTHER POLICE WALKING AROUND THE HOUSE, WOMAN WALKS OVER TO MAN)

Woman
Whats happened? Who are you?

Derek
I'm Derek, Euphemism man (SHOWS I.D.) I'm afraid its bad news, It's your husband.

Woman
No! please no! whats happened?

Derek
I'm afraid he's sleeping with the fishes.

(WOMAN FALLS TO KNEES AND CRIES IN AGONY)

Derek
Oh,I see whats happened here (LAUGHS) It's OK (MOVES TO REVEAL MAN ASLEEP IN PADDLING POOL WITH PLASTIC FISH)

Woman
(STILL ON KNEES, LOOKS UP AT MAN IN DISBELIEF)

(RETRO MUSIC AND A SCREEN THAT SAYS EUPHEMISM MAN)

End

Sketch 2

(RETRO MUSIC AND A SCREEN THAT SAYS EUPHEMISM MAN, DEREK AND HIS WIFE ARE SITTING IN THEIR FRONT ROOM)

Woman
I've really enjoyed tonight, Derek.

Derek
Don't you mean Euphemism man? (GETS OUT I.D.)

Woman
Love, shut up! (LAUGHS)

Derek
What? I'm being serious. Now (LEANS OVER TO KISS) just lie back and think of England.

Woman
But I don't like football, Derek.

Derek
(LOOKS SHOCKED THAT HIS WIFE DOES NOT KNOW HE HAS JUST USED A EUPHEMISM) And its not Derek it's Euphemism man. (SITS UP AND LOOKS LIKE HE'S IN A MOOD)

(RETRO MUSIC AND A SCREEN THAT SAYS EUPHEMISM MAN)

End

Like the 1st, but he doesn't have to be euphemism man,

would see euphemism man as more of a flea bitten batman clone, taking on bank robbers with euphemisms and getting his arse kicked.

lol yes, that qould be quite a good idea Sootyj. Thanks for the advice mate.

I was expecting more explicit euphemisms.

Yeah I can see what you're saying Dave mate. I was in bed and I thought about it and had to come down and write them. I reckon I've got the Idea just not the best sketch yet. I'll work on them because I like this idea. Thanks for the feedback guys.

I have to say I was really disappointed with the first sketch. As you know I love to find fault wherever I can, so I was annoyed to find myself laughing out loud for some considerable time. I even found the screen at the start funny. Certainly tickled me - a lot. Lovely punchline. Great idea and execution IMO.

I liked the embarrassed "It's not Derek - it's Euphemism Man" in the second one, along with the relationship between the two, but having said that, I thought the joke needed to be stronger. I mean, there are so many funny places you can go with this character, don't settle for a weak joke.

Superhero outfit would be good.

Yes thanks James. As I've said I'll try to make the jokes a bit stronger and I might just make a few more of these. I like the idea and (not being big headed)could see them working on screen. Thanks for the feedback guys.

I love the character and it has a lot of potential, but I'd find it funnier if you packed more euphemisms in and he barely spoke in any other lingo. Then you could twist it with him being misunderstood whenever he talks normally.

Though now I've written that down it sounds a bit like Viz Comic's Finbarr Saunders.

The first is defo my fav too.

No, nothing wrong with the first one IMO Paul. I actually thought it was hilarious.

Thanks guys. Ill work on the second one then lol make the joke a bit stronger on that one. Once again thanks for the feedback and advice, much appreciated as always!

You have the seed of a good run of sketches here, matey pip.
You said it was more or less fresh from your head so it could go either way. I think if you follow some of the above suggestions and spend a bit more time on it you could well have a winner.

If it's going to be a running thing though, I would try to vary it just a little each time to stop it becoming stale.

Keep with it though, Paul, definitely.