New Gibb and Will

I've written another episode of Gibb and Will (the 4th) which is now on my website, http://www.tompk.cjb.net/home.htm

Just to update for anyone that is interested, I plan to get these voiced and animated asap and then get them on a website, although it's going to take me a while. I've been looking into different animators on the internet but am struggling to find a style I like.

That's where I'm up to at the mo and I think I will stop writing for a bit now to concentrate on getting production started.

As always thanks for looking and I look forward to your critique.

Tom

Hi Tom, don't want to be negative but I didn't think this was as funny as the others - which I really really liked. Not too sure how concerned teenage boys are about their pants so was unsure about the premise from the start. Sorry.

That's why I posted this up here, it's one I found I had to think about a bit more than the last three. Regarding the conversation topic, both this episode and the 'punching a baby in the face' one are based on conversations I have had with my mate, so, whilst it may not be common... lol.
Also I never really thought of these two as your avergae "girls and booze" teenagers, I think it's important they talk about things most people (or most teens at least) aren't considering.

Thanks for the feedback

I liked it I think the dialogue could be tightened up a bit though aprat from that I thought it were good

Cool, any particular examples Gavin?

yeah Tom hope u dont get peeved but I just edited it in word this is the way I'd do it prehaps you'd want to mix between the two I dunno up to you pal

http://www.greenmanmedia.co.uk/My_version.doc

'Course I won't get peeved. I've taken some of your changes on board, might make some alterations in the morning.

Again, thanks for the response.