British Comedy Guide

Worst idea for a sitcom Page 101

Michael Mull Of Kintyre's Comedy Roadshow

Michael and Paul McCartney sing and tell shite jokes.

Hello sir!

Long time no see.

"Please" Sir
Teacher gives exam passes for blowjobs. More fair than current system of rubbish pretend exams probably.

Quote: sootyj @ February 23 2008, 6:29 AM BST

The littlest homo

Cute scruffy homosexual travels from place to place sorting peoples problems

Night Cider

Michael Knite has lost his license after getting pissed, and must now fight crime in a shopping trolley whilst drinking cider. Each week he chases the villains dwon hill whislt tlaking to a none existent Englsih man. His arch enemy is the morrisons security guard who wants the trolley back, and the pound coin.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQrYn9muPPc

Bloody hell someone filmed one of my stupid ideas

The Orifice
About a sweaty hairy asshole who is full of shit and works in a paper merchants.

Strictly come Dancing
Where desperate c list celebrities dance with professionals - the first one to experience a genuine mind-blowing orgasm on the dance floor wins.

8 out of 10 twats
Where contestants have 5 minutes to copulate with 10 naked ladies - the winner has to have been succesful with at least 8 of them.

Catching the bus
About the members on a suicide pact web site. We follow a separate one each week as they seek to 'catch the bus'. Obviously a large cast list would be required for this one, and a location of say...a car park n Essex?

Shoot the Pope
Where the Pope, in his popemobile is driven around a field with the occasional mocked up catholic church or cathedral for cover. Contestants can try to shoot the Pope as he emerges from his cover - they take cover in a crowd.

Tickle my fanny
Dale winton hosts this quiz show where a series of male (or lesbian) contestants answer question on subjects of their choice (as long as its depraved). for every correct answer, the contestant is given a drinking straw to attach to the end of a feather. the next drinking straw attached to the previous one..etc
sexy females are situated 6 feet away from each contestant - knickerless - with their legs splayed as if having an internal examination. When the contestant has 6 feet of extended feather - he/she can 'tickle her fanny' and is the winner!

Him & her have just got in Versus life

Up the chuff!

Set in 1962 following Beechngs plans to savagely cut the Railways, 'Up the chuff! follows the fortunes of 2 homosexual railwaybox signal men. Littered liberaly with double-entendre catch phrases such as...

'is it up yet?' refering to the signal
'he'll be pulling out soon' refering to the trains departure
'look at the state of his flue!' upon checking a steam train's chimney

Its a classic throwback to times when comedy was quaint and saucy. starring Anthony Cotton (Sean Tully in Coronation St - you know - the one who's 'light on his feet')and Alan Carr, this promises to be a sunday night treat for all of the family. With Ted Robbins starring as Inspector Sidebottom, an hilarious time is promised for all.

Quote: sootyj @ September 23 2010, 9:34 PM BST

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQrYn9muPPc

Bloody hell someone filmed one of my stupid ideas

Double weird, I'm working on a sketch right now that has 'The Littlest Homo' on the page. I guess it must be one of those go-to parody ideas.

Weekend at Berni's

He's 68, retired, in good health and is one hell of a boring b*st*d.

Next weeks show

Bernies sweating for 1 number at his local mecca

TUNE IN TO SEE HOW HE GETS ON

Ever Decreasing Merkel's. Reality dieting show featuring the German lovely

'The Titty Bar'

Set in a topless bar in Leeds, we have a bevvy of saucy beauties showing all (apart from their fannies) and a string of lecherous regular characters. Its bawdy and unsophisticated and basically the target audience are those men who like breasts and bums.

We take an intimate, yet respectful, look beneath the veneer of these sad ladies to get an idea of the torment they face in their daily lives - the problems with husbands. partners, children and money. The painted mask they apply prior to tittilating their paymasters on the other side of the bar. As well as being humourous, it provides an incisive insight into the pressures that some modern women have to apply to themselves simply to make ends meet in the Uk today.

(But really we just check out their tremendous tits and arses each week. Smarmy)

Through the Arsehole

Everyones' favourite american, Lloyd Grossman, returns in a show with the exact same format as its predecessor - only this time we poke a micro-camera up the back passage of a celebrity - and a panel of 3 guests have to decide whose asshole it is.

It promises to be a winning formula.

Blackbladder

Lying conniving coward with a severe water infection bullies a smelly little man throughout history.

Quote: David Bussell @ September 24 2010, 2:10 PM BST

Double weird, I'm working on a sketch right now that has 'The Littlest Homo' on the page. I guess it must be one of those go-to parody ideas.

Fancy teaming up on The Biggest Homo?

Quote: sootyj @ September 24 2010, 4:29 PM BST

Fancy teaming up on The Biggest Homo?

** Thread moved to Cottaging**

Arch Enemies

Cilla Black and Ross Kemp star in this everday tale of down-and-out alcoholic former celebrities , who hate each other, living under the arches.

Cilla makes desperate attemtps to regain her former celebrity status by offering her sex to Programme controllers and heads of independent production companies. In one episode she is seen trying to fellate Michael Grade as he hails a taxi cab.In episode 3 she actually f**ks Rolf Harris in a phone box.

Ross kemp on the other hand takes to shoplifting, drugs and pimping - putting into action many of the tricks of the trade he learned in his 'gangs' series. His pathetic attempts to gain street-credibility are totally cringe worthy - and, at times, touching.

As the series develops we see cameo appearances from Ian 'Lovejoy' Mcshane, Paul Shane, Shane Warne and Shania Twain. The highlight of all is in episode 6 when Cilla and Ross clash outside the BAFTA awards ceremony in pathetic attempts to gain the attention of their former industry 'friends'. Cilla throws up over the rope onto the red carpet - getting puke on Louis Walsh's new shoes, whilst Ross shits himself while lay in the gutter.

Its gonna be a winner!

Axe Rhod Gilbert

Share this page