An Israeli woman claiming to be 120 years old is hoping to get into the Guinness Book of Records. Apparently she can wrap her breasts twice round her waist while holding a rugby ball in her fanny.
Uproar in Oz after Thong Dee the elephant becomes pregnant at the tender age of nine. The International Fund for Animal Welfare said: “It’s like letting your 12-year-old daughter get pregnant.” The zoo replied: “They should see our pay-per-view website of the conception. We’re even thinking of setting one up for the elephants.”
The Ivory Coast is awash with women shaking their fatty bum-bums in the new dance craze “Boboraba”, with people desperate to maximise their buttocks spending a fortune on injections and creams. In the UK if we want to waste money on an overinflated arse we’ve got Gordon Brown.
The makers of a chart-topping song only audible to dogs are looking to score a global hit. They seem to have made a fundamental mistake in assuming that dogs buy records. Apparently it’s only available in HMV.
Doctors say the female G-spot can now be detected with sophisticated ultrasound equipment - though that’s likely to spoil the mood.