British Comedy Guide

Heather with Eamonn

EAMONN HOLMES (TO CAM):
Since splitting up with Sir Paul McCartney, Heather Mills has vowed to devote the rest of her life to making the world a better place to live in.

HEATHER:
That's right.

EAMONN HOLMES (TO HEATHER):
Now, last week you asked viewers how you could best achieve your aim.

HEATHER NODS PLEASANTLY

EAMONN HOLMES (TO HEATHER, CONT):
Well, all week our viewers have been voting and - by an overwhelming majority . . .

HE HANDS HER AN ENVELOPE WHICH SHE OPENS.

SHE PULLS OUT A SMALL RECTANGLE OF PAPER AND LOOKS AT IT

HEATHER:
A ticket to Bridgend?

EAMONN REACHES DOWN BESIDE HIS CHAIR AND PRODUCES A COIL OF ROPE

EAMONN:
You'll be needing this as well.

Perjury alert!

Perjury?

Don't you mean plagiarism?

Yes, I am happy to concede that the above sketch was inspired by the one you wrote about Heather and Kerry Katona topping themselves.

To be fair, though, I don't think there'll be any shortage of Heather/Bridgend sketches doing the rounds this week. Laughing out loud

True, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Hence I will dodge taxes, not comb my hair, and perform joyless routines to theaters full of nearly dead pensioners.

As a compliment to Ken Dodd.

Mm, it was good, but of course I could see the punchline a mile off! Not necessarily a bad thing. It was funny.

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