Three Scripwriters

With all due acknowledgements to The Frost Report . . .

THREE MAN ARE FACING CAMERA. ONE TALL, ONE MEDIUM HEIGHT AND ONE SHORT.

TALL MAN:
I look down on him (NODS AT MEDIUM MAN) because I am a great scriptwriter

MEDIUM MAN:
I look up to him (NODS AT TALL MAN) because he is a great scriptwriter but I look down on him (NODS AT SHORT MAN) because he is a shit scriptwriter. I am an average scriptwriter.

SHORT MAN:
My scripts are shit. I look up to them both. But I don’t look up to him (NODS AT MEDIUM MAN) as much as I look up to him (NODS AT TALL MAN) because he has got innate style.

TALL MAN:
I have innate style but everybody hates me. So sometimes I look up to him (NODS AT MEDIUM MAN).

MEDIUM MAN:
I still look up to him (NODS AT TALL MAN) because although most people like me, my scripts lack finesse. But they’re a lot more finnessy than his (NODS AT SHORT MAN) so I still look down on him.

SHORT MAN:
I write shit scripts. I look up to them both. But while I am a writer of shite, I am cheerful, industrious and exceedingly modest. Had I the inclination, I could look down on them (NODS AT THE OTHER TWO) but I don’t.

MEDIUM MAN:
We all know our place but what do we get out of it?

TALL MAN:
I get a feeling of superiority over them (NODS AT THE OTHER TWO)

MEDIUM MAN:
I get a feeling of inferiority from him (NODS AT TALL MAN) and a feeling of superiority over him (NODS AT SHORT MAN).

SHORT MAN:
I'm the most popular person on BSG.

I was going to accuse you of being Kent Pete. However, I then realised that a spoof of any kind is far beyond him.

It was a nice, vicious dig at the forum members.

In other news, did you hear that they're doing a one off special of The Frost Report again?

That's excellent. Very funny punchline.

Nice, bit of accurate satire, very funny.

Excellent stuff

Quote: Winterlight @ February 21, 2008, 11:13 AM

I was going to accuse you of being Kent Pete.

View original

No, who was that other guy who couldn't write his own stuff but could only crib from classic sketches?

David's avatar shows him reading one of my sketches and trying without success to post a response in which his all-consuming envy is less than blindingly transparent.

Envious of what exactly? Can you point me to one of your sketches?

Quote: David Bussell @ February 21, 2008, 1:08 PM

No, who was that other guy who couldn't write his own stuff but could only crib from classic sketches?

View original

Jerf Roberwitz? I found him quite a funny character with his blunt ways.

Quote: Winterlight @ February 21, 2008, 11:13 AM

I was going to accuse you of being Kent Pete. However, I then realised that a spoof of any kind is far beyond him.

View original

Wasn't pastiche mostly what kent pete did?

I don't know WHO you are (nods to Foxy Box) but I actually thought that was quite humorous.

You mysterious little fox you.

It's Chimes.
It were ok. I genuinely find all this trying to rub people up the wrong way a bit tedious though. It just seems to betray an innate and unquashable arrogance more than anything else. Which is all very well and good as long as it isn't projected out with such force.

I understand I will be told it's all in the name of humour. Just think of me as a big cuddly teddy bear.

I think what I also mean is there are far more worthy targets for satire out there than an internet forum.

Quote: FoxyBox @ February 21, 2008, 10:55 AM

With all due acknowledgements to The Frost Report . . .

THREE MAN ARE FACING CAMERA. ONE TALL, ONE MEDIUM HEIGHT AND ONE SHORT.

TALL MAN:
I look down on him (NODS AT MEDIUM MAN) because I am a great scriptwriter

MEDIUM MAN:
I look up to him (NODS AT TALL MAN) because he is a great scriptwriter but I look down on him (NODS AT SHORT MAN) because he is a shit scriptwriter. I am an average scriptwriter.

SHORT MAN:
My scripts are shit. I look up to them both. But I don’t look up to him (NODS AT MEDIUM MAN) as much as I look up to him (NODS AT TALL MAN) because he has got innate style.

TALL MAN:
I have innate style but everybody hates me. So sometimes I look up to him (NODS AT MEDIUM MAN).

MEDIUM MAN:
I still look up to him (NODS AT TALL MAN) because although most people like me, my scripts lack finesse. But they’re a lot more finnessy than his (NODS AT SHORT MAN) so I still look down on him.

SHORT MAN:
I write shit scripts. I look up to them both. But while I am a writer of shite, I am cheerful, industrious and exceedingly modest. Had I the inclination, I could look down on them (NODS AT THE OTHER TWO) but I don’t.

MEDIUM MAN:
We all know our place but what do we get out of it?

TALL MAN:
I get a feeling of superiority over them (NODS AT THE OTHER TWO)

MEDIUM MAN:
I get a feeling of inferiority from him (NODS AT TALL MAN) and a feeling of superiority over him (NODS AT SHORT MAN).

SHORT MAN:
I'm the most popular person on BSG.

View original

And in case anyone wants to compare it to the original: http://www.epicure.demon.co.uk/3men.html

It's hard to see any constructive motivation behind this new member's posting.

I credited the original source at the start of the posting even though most people with serious aspirations to be a comedy writer will immediately recognise the source and many will know it almost by heart.

It's interesting that this mysterious new member has made just two postings - both of them snide and both about MY sketches.

Funny postings are made by funny people.

Boring postings are made by boring people.

Angry postings are made by angry people.

Sad, snidey, little postings are made by . . .

Answers on a postcard to:

Billwill competition
BSG Forum
Cyberland

Having just read it again, change punchline to BBC, or ITV and this skit could easily go all the way. Do you submit your stuff else where?