Confessions of a Politician

TONY BLAIR AND PRIEST AT CONFESSIONAL

PRIEST: And have you anything to confess, my son?

BLAIR: Well, not much really.

PRIEST: However minor ...

BLAIR: Well, I did once have this slight misunderstanding in a restaurant. But I think um Gordon’s got over it.

PRIEST: Ten hail Marys.

BLAIR: Oh right, that’s um sorted then, excellent.

PRIEST: And?

BLAIR: Um I may not have er fully understood this silly dossier thingy.

PRIEST: Was anyone hurt as a result?

BLAIR: Well, not really, I mean, they probably would’ve died anyway ... eventually.

PRIEST: Fifty.

BLAIR: Oh, gosh fifty, well fair enough. And um ... I’ve been getting these um impure thoughts.

PRIEST: Impure?

BLAIR: I just want to um wear the clothes, smell the smell, you know, become them, I know it’s wrong. I just can’t help it.

PRIEST: And the object of this compulsion?

BLAIR: Oh, well, actually it’s um ... Margaret Thatcher.

Good.

Good, but I'd like a pace change for the punchline.

Yes, not bad.

Quote: sootyj @ February 21, 2008, 12:05 AM

Good, but I'd like a pace change for the punchline.

View original

No, I know. I can't get the punchline right. Any suggestions gratefully received.

I was expecting the punchline to be something along the lines of f**king that ugly old bint.

PS - I don't mean Charley.

Confession of a git

Tony Blair is giving a press conference.

TonyWhy did I wait for four months after I left office to convert to Catholicism? I didn’t, I converted two years ago I’ve just finished my first confession this week.
On walks a bishop.

BishopTony, are you sure you’re done?

TonyOk so I killed David Kelly

Bishop clears throat

TonyAnd Clare Short, I poisoned her wig, happy now?

BishopNow isn’t that better Tony, an egomaniac, with homicidal tendencies, keep this up and you’ll be pope.

My attempt on a similar theme, not good but interesting punch I hope

BLAIR: I just want to um wear the clothes, smell the smell, you know, become them, I know it’s wrong. I just can’t help it.

PRIEST: And the object of this compulsion?

BLAIR: Priests!

Pretty good, John

Would've liked a few less 'um's though, for me it was a little off-putting. Only a minor niggle of course, good stuff!

Thanks for all the feedback and the suggestions.

I'm still not sure how to end it, but it's given me food for thought. I like the idea of him aspiring to become pope.