A TEACHER IS ADDRESSING A CLASS OF YOUNG CHILDREN
TEACHER:
Children this is a very sad day. Hammy, our pet hamster, has died over the weekend and we must decide what to do with him.
ADAM:
We could maybe put him in a shoe box and bury him miss.
TEACHER:
Yes, that's a good idea Adam. Does anyone have any other suggestions?
SUNITA:
We could build a little fire, put him in an open shoebox, sprinkle rose petals over him and cremate him miss.
TEACHER:
Another good idea Sunita. Any more suggestions?
MAX:
What about hiring a glass-sided coach pulled by six jet black horses in full black livery complete with black plumes, a solid oak coffin, real brass handles and floral tributes, one saying 'HAMMY' and another made to look like a little hamster's wheel.
TEACHER:
For goodness sake Max, he's only a pet hamster not an East End gangland villain. Don't you think that's all a little over the top?
MAX TAKES OUT A MOBILE PHONE AND MAKES A CALL
MAX:
Forget it Dad. Bloody cheapskates, I knew you should have sent me private these people have no class.
END:
