British Comedy Guide

Murder Sketch

Int. Front Room

A policeman is looking at the dead body of a man on the floor.

Policeman: Murdered. But by who? Who indeed?

The door to the room opens and in walks a sexy woman wearing suspenders, a basque etc. She waggles her finger at the policeman.

Woman: Looks like someone's been very, VERY, naughty.

The policeman's eyes light up.

Policeman: Hello gorgeous!

The woman comes striding over to him. The camera shows that she's carrying a knife behind her back.

Cut To:

Int. Front Room

Another policeman is looking at the dead body of a man and the original policeman on the floor.

Policeman 2: A civvy and a PC, both murdered. How very strange.

The door to the room opens and in walks a sexy woman wearing suspenders, a basque etc. She waggles her finger at policeman 2.

Woman: Looks like someone's been very, VERY, naughty.

Policeman 2's eyes light up.

Policeman 2: Oh I've been bad. So bad, baby.

The woman comes striding over to him. The camera shows that she's carrying a knife behind her back.

Cut To:

Int. Front Room

Another Policeman is looking closely at the walls. The body of a man and 2 policemen lie on the floor. The door to the room opens and in walks a sexy woman wearing suspenders, a basque etc. She waggles her finger at the policeman as he turns round to face her.

Woman: Looks like someone's been very, VERY, naughty.

Policeman 3: (VERY CAMP) Tell me about it! Magnolia? In this day and age?! Oh and as for those curtains! OH!

Woman: What?

The woman looks bemused. Policeman 3 strides over to the woman.

Policeman 3. I'm going to have to ask you to accompany me. To Homebase.

ENDS

Nice, the punch line is a little predictable, but it's strong enough it doesn't matter.

Share this page