British Comedy Guide

Horror

INT. BATHROOM. NIGHT.

A MAN (TERRY) IS SHAVING AT THE SINK, HE IS USING THE MEDICINE CABINET MIRROR TO SHAVE BY. THERE IS A 'PLINK' AND THE LIGHT GOES OUT. HE CURSES. SUDDENTLY THE MATHROOM WINDOW BEHIND HIM BLOWS OPEN DRAMATICALLY A STORM RAGES OUTSIDE, HE NICKS HIMSELF WITH A RAOZOR AND BENDS DOWN TO GET A TISSUE. WHEN HE RETURNS THE PHRASE, 'TIME TO PAY THE PIPER' IS WRITTEN ON BLOOD ON THE MIRROR, HE GASPS AND RUNS OUT THE ROOM, WE FOLLOW HIM ROOM TO ROOM. EVERYWHERE THE PHRASE 'TIME TO PAY THE PIPER' IS DAWBED IN BLOOD DRIPPING.

HE STOPS BY THE FRONT DOOR TO CATCH HIS BREATH SUDDENLY THE DOOR BELL RINGS MANICALLY, THEN THE DOOR FLINGS OPEN REVEALING A HORRIFIC VISAGE OF THE PIED PIPER AT THE DOOR TWISTED AND EVIL, LIGHTNING FLASHES BEHING HIM. TERRY SCREAMS. THE PIPER LAUGHS EVILY. SUDDENLY THE LIGHTS COME BACK ON, THE STORM STOPS.

TERRY
Sorry, about that. How much was it?

PIPER
Forty-Two punds including VAT.

TERRY GETS THE MONEY FROM HIS WALLET.

TERRY
There you go. Thanks for reminding me by the way, you know what I'm like.

HE INDICATES THE BLOOD SPLATTERD DAWBINGS.

PIPER
You'd forget you own head I know. There's your receipt you still need me for that corporate gig next Wednesday.

TERRY (LOOKS DOUBTFUL)
I'll let you know.

HE SHUTS THE DOOR AND STARTS WHISTLING.

ENDS

Very good. Danny.

its interesting but I have seen similar sketches to this before, except not with a piper.

I'm not sure how funny this would be when performed but its funny written down.

maybe a better punchline as well

Quote: Hoskinator @ February 17, 2008, 11:27 PM

its interesting but I have seen similar sketches to this before, except not with a piper.

I'm not sure how funny this would be when performed but its funny written down.

maybe a better punchline as well

You're right .. new ending...

PIPER
You'd forget you own head I know. There's your receipt you still need me for little Tod's birthday party next Wednesday.

TERRY (LOOKS DOUBTFUL)
I think we are going to go with Cocoa the Clown or Mrs Roundabout.

ENDS

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