Julia Says

Hi.

I liked the dialogue in the sense that it moved quickly and was pretty snappy in its delivery. However some of the jokes had to be explained, for example the Luca Brasi joke you had to explain in the next line. Not really much use unless you have seen the Godfather or your a big Catatonia fan. Liked the idea though. Is there more to this scene, because it doesn't really seem to move anything along. Also in my opinion the characters are "interchangeable". If you didn't know who was saying what it could be any one of the three. They need more individual personalities IMO.

Keep at it!

I agree with Wayne in his crit of the snappy dialogue & the Joke explanation. It is well written but needs to pack a bit more punch. IMO Hun.

Hi Wayne and Charley and thanks for your comments.

The 'explaining the joke' thing isn't really intended to explain the joke to the audience. There's nothing funny in Luca Brasi's name. Cherry's line would have been just as funny (or unfunny) if she'd said "Even that guy in The Godfather is better off than me. You know? The one who sleeps with the fishes? At least he’s sleeping with SOMEbody".

I think that line might even be funnier than the one I used but what's happening at that point is that Julia has just made the Macbeth reference that Cherry didn't understand. That's reminded Cherry that Julia is 'better' than her in all kinds of ways - she's better looking, more popular, better grades in school and college, etc, etc, so she's thrown in the Luca Brasi reference, pretty sure that Julia will have to ask her to explain it.

It briefly narrows the gap between them and makes Cherry feel better.

That was my intention, anyway.

Quality from start to finish.

Intelligent. Funny. Slick. Professional.

I also thought it was very good. Showed a bit of class IMO. Thought the gargoyle but was rather contrived though. Also this seemed a bit of a non-sequitur:

JULIA (CONT):
What’s in this?

CHERRY:
I found the recipe in a bookstore and copied it down.

So I'm not saying I wouldn't give it a little touch-up. But I also thought the characters were unique enough, certainly from what one can gather from such a short scene.