Pete Docherty Song

As promised Leevil. My latest attempt at current affairs humour sent off to NR and Treason. However I don't feel it's hard hitting enough and I'm grasping for bloody rhymes to point. Considering I'm an amateur musician I have real problems with doing songs. Still, here it is anyway.

Drugs Offender
[To the tune of ‘Hey Big Spender]

Voice over: Ladies and gentleman, please give a warm welcome to the lead singer of Babyshambles and soon to be appearing on his own in the Albert Hall. Mr Pete Docherty

The minute I roll up a joint
You can see that I’ll be
Breaking probation
a drugs offender
Shits cooking, gears refined
See the little rabbits
roller skate in my mind

So I’ve basically got to the point
I can’t seem to walk
Or even bloody see
Drugs offender
speeds a little tame for me

Watch the rabbits have fun, fun, fun
Hows about a few giraffes, giraffes
I could show you a good time
Let me cut you a coke line

This minute I’d kill for a joint
Katie’s gone and I’m feeling the tension
I’m in need of a bender
Keep looking, glance behind
Every time they nicked me
Kate’d pay all my fines

But I tell you I won’t disappoint
I ‘ll still flick the ‘v’ to every cop I see
Drugs offender!

[Enter policeman. Pete sings more restrained]

Drugs offender!

Policeman: Drugs offender!
spend a little time with me.

Yeah that's pretty good roscoff. The problem I had is I didn't think of the chorus first, so mine didn't have that hook. But anyway, I think this is good enough for NR or TS, it's nothing special, but it still works.

I'll have ago at topical next.

Yeah, I feel it was a bit repetitive - needed more jokes. Not sure it was a good choice of song and it seemed quite limiting. I think you made a good job there but couldn't recover from the initial mistake in song choice.

Well I was singing along as I lurrrve 'Hey Big Spender'. I liked it. You could have gone rude or gay with that one. Hey Big Bender! However you done it better your way. Well done.