British Comedy Guide

Song: Torn (Psycho Version)

Natalie Imbruglia - Torn

Torn (Psycho Version)

I thought I saw a man kill his wife,
She was cold,
She was bound,
She was sacrificed,
He showed me what it was to die.

Well you couldn't be that man with a Sword,
You let the blood flow,
It went everywhere,
Even splattered on the door,
Also pooled on the floor.

There's nothin' where she used to lie,
Her blood supply has run dry,
Her body bag's going on,
Zipped up tight,
It's torn.

I can see her face,
I'm trying hard to squeal,
I'm bound and I am chained,
Locked behind the secret door,
Trapped, tied and caged.

Make him a deal?
He's made a mistake and I can see her body bag it torn,
I can see her face,
Where it's torn.

So I guess my turn will be tonight,
I should've punched, should've kicked and put up a better fight,
But you crawled beneath my bed with chains,
And then pulled my hair,
Put me in a truck,
You evil psycho crazy f**k,
You're just so many things,
You will get court,
I'm sure.

There's nothin' saying I have to die,
My escape, I'm going to try,
I'm not putting that body bag on,
No, not tonight
I'm sure.

:)

*cough*

[quote name="Leevil" post="99707" date="February 13, 2008, 4:20 PM"]

Not for me this one Leevil. I get the story overall but some of the lines confuse me.

'He showed me what it was to die'

Should it be 'she showed me...' Keeping in context of song?

'Well you couldn't be that with a Sword' ??????

There's nothin' where she used to lie,
Her blood supply has run dry,
Her body bag's going on,
Zipped up tight,
It's torn.

Does 'torn' refer to body bag or body? It reads like the body bag.

'Make him a deal'

Seems out of place because it's not referred to again in the song. Next time you're gonna try to kick the shit out of him. Which is fair enough.

Well it's just saying, "He (the killer displayed what dying is) showed me what it is to die."

Well you couldn't be that man with a Sword - Just a type-o lol.

Yes, it the body bag, revealing her face.

And 'Make a Deal' would be bargaining to let her go.

The odd thing is in there just because it rhymes. It was harder then I thought and I just wanted to finish it by the time I got half way through, lol.

Thanks for the feedback.

:)

Your clap one is a hard act to follow hun.

It's hard writing songs Leevil. I'm not being condescending here because I've put songs in to NR for about three years and in total I have had performed, wait for it......one. So go on with it because practise and all that but if your just putting words in to rhyme then the story becomes twisted. Which was what yours was about anyway. I'll put my latest on here Leevil and you can pummel me to death. I like that sort of thing. Whistling nnocently

This isn't for submitting, just fun and practise. I appreciate the honest crit as well, much more helpful.

I don't know the song so I can't really comment.

Although I clearly just have. Kind of.

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