Int. Train Station
A man stands at a ticket booth. A woman ticket seller is other side.
Man: Hello, the train for London hasn't gone yet has it?
Woman: No, but it is leaving in about a minute.
Man: Right, I'll have a day return ticket.
Woman: Ok, but what sort?
Man: What? Oh, I don't know, just a standard one.
Woman: We don't do a standard one.
Man: Well what have you got?
Woman: Well, theres the super saver ticket, the away for a day ticket, the travelcard with zones 1-6 access ticket, the business travel ticket, the early bird ticket or the cheap day return ticket.
Man: I'll have the cheap day return ticket.
Woman: Ok, now, do you have a Network Railcard?
Man: No.
Woman: A Family Railcard?
Man: No.
Woman: An 18 to 24 Young Persons Railcard?
Man: I'm 30 for God's sake!
Woman: So, you want a cheap day return ticket with no railcard.
Man: Yes.
Woman: Right, do you want 1st or standard class?
Man: Standard!
Woman: Ok, are you going to be paying by cheque, cash -
Man: I'm going to pay by debit card.
Woman: I'm sorry, but it's company policy that I have to list all types of payment available.
Man: But I'll miss the bloody-
Woman: Cheque, cash, debit card, credit card or postal order?
Man: DEBIT CARD!
Woman: Thank you. That'll be £40, please.
Man hands over his debit card. The woman processes card and then hands the tickets over. A PA system comes into life.
PA: THE TRAIN FOR LONDON IS NOW DEPARTING.
The sound of a train pulling away starts up. The man runs out of shot and then comes back a few seconds later. He walks up to ticket seller.
Man: Oh thanks a lot! I've missed the train now and it's all your fault. I wish to complain.
Woman: Ok, will you be complaining verbally, by post, by email, by phone, by telegram, by skywriting-
Man: AGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!
Man storms off.
ENDS
