Any ideas for a better ending anyone, or if it is good enough for one I suppose.
A VERY MUSCLEBOUND, BROAD, SHAVED HEADED, TATOOED, SCARY GEEZER ON A MOBILE PHONE.
MENTALIST MARLON
(Scary deep voice) Right you want me to play baliff. (Hangs up the phone)
CUT TO MENTALIST MARLON BANGING ON A FRONT DOOR. HE WAITS A WHILE & THERE IS NO ANSWER SO HE KICKS IT IN. HE ENTERS THE LIVINGROOM WHERE A SKINNY YOUNG MOTHER IS HUDDLED WITH HER TWO NAPPIELESS TODDLERS.
MENTALIST MARLON
(As scarily as he can) I am here to get some of your shit bitch! You aint been paying your council tax. (Picks up the TV) You owe £3003.36 to the local authority. (Stares at her in distaste)
YOUNG MOTHER
(Scared) Please don’t take our TV. Look we are having a really tough time at the moment. I can’t even afford nappies for my babies.
MENTALIST MARLON.
I don’t give a f**k about your toddlers shitting on your floor. (Starts throwing DVD’s & CD’s into a sack. Pay your council tax bitch!
YOUNG MOTHER
Please I beg you. I have another 2 kids at school. I can barely afford to feed them
MENTALIST MARLON
(Sarcasticaly) Boo f**king Hoo. (Puts his screwed up face right into hers) Your sob story is hitting a nerve & boring it. (Continues snatching up her valuables).
A CUTE, FLUFFY CAT STROLLS INTO THE LIVINGROOM. MENTALIST MARLON STARES AT IT THEN STOOPS DOWN & SCOOPS IT UP.
MENTALIST MARLON
(All goey) You didn’t say you had a puddy cat. (gently strokes the cats ears with his huge hands). Whose a purdey puddy cat then. (Holds it up gracefully in the air) Is you, is you, is you a purdey puddy chat.
THE YOUNG MOTHER
(Frowning) (Realisation dawns) (Seizes her chance) That’s Oscar. He loves to watch the Teletubbies. (Sadly) I guess he won’t be able to now. (pulls a folorn face)
MENTALIST MARLON
(Cradling the cat like a baby) Does you wub the teletubbies puddy cat, (Tickles it’s chin) Does you, does you, Awwwww such a purdey puddy chitten.
THE YOUNG MOTHER
I guess I will have to get him put to sleep. I can’t afford to feed him what with having this council tax bill & all this stuff to replace now.
MENTALIST MARLON
(Horrified) You can’t do that to this Purdey puddy, Bitch! I would take him myself but I already have more than I can handle at home.
THE YOUNG MOTHER
(Shrugs) I suppose I had better call the vet now.
MENTALIST MARLON BURSTS INTO TEARS.
Nooooooo! You can’t put the lickle purdy puddy chitten down. Nooooooo! (Grizzles into the cat) I won’t let the tax dodging bitch do it wittle woolly witten.
THE TODDLERS START TO HOWL. MENTALIST MARLON SCREAMS AT THEM TO ‘SHUT THE FUCK UP’.
MENTALIST MARLON
(Through sobs) Okay put the phone down bitch or I will break the toddler’s legs.
Here is what we are going to do……
CUT TO
MENTALIST MARLON IS AT HOME SITTING AT HIS TABLE WRITING OUT A CHECK FOR £3003.36 TO THE LOCAL COUNCIL.
THE CAMERA PANS OUT TO SEE HIS 16 CATS IN EXPENSIVE COLLARS, RUBBING AGAINST HIS LEG, SITTING ON THE TABLE, HIS LAP & CURLED AROUND HIS NECK. HIS WALLS ARE PLASTERED IN CUTE PUSSY CAT PICTURES. HIS CURTAINS ARE CAT PRINTS.
MENTALIST MARLON HAS A HUGE ECSTATIC GRIN ON HIS FACE.
