Another Mills/McCartney song

I thought I'd have a crack at the same theme with another song being as there's not that much interesting news at the moment. Apologies for similar grey pubic hair reference! All suggestions welcomed.

So, to the tune of Eleanor Rigby:

Ah, look at all the cheap gold-diggers
Ah, look at all the cheap gold-diggers

Heather McCartney wipes up the cum off the floor where her customer’s been
A whole basketball team.
Waits at the red light, wearing a leg that she keeps in a bag by the door
Expensive whore

All the cheap gold-diggers
Why are they all such scum ?
All the cheap gold-diggers
They love a rich man’s dong.

Paul from the Beatles - eats veggie lasagne that tastes like an elephant’s ear.
Cries into his beer.
Look at him wanking - into his socks in the night now that Linda’s not there
Grey pubic hair.

All the cheap gold-diggers
Why are they all such scum ?
All the cheap gold-diggers
They love a rich man’s dong.

Heather McCartney, wed and divorced in four years, has she no sense of shame?
She’s got half a brain
Paul from the Beatles, thinks fifty k wasn’t worth it for just one crap lay
And she never shaved

All the cheap gold-diggers
Why are they all such scum ?
All the cheap gold-diggers
They love a rich man’s dong.

Very good hun!

Ah... it's approx 50 million and I've put 50 k in a gross underestimate . 50 mill isn't as good to rhyme with as 50k, f**k f**k f**k!!!

that's brill

Very good - but I think I'd have rhymed Scum with Cum (again).

Quote: David Chapman @ February 12, 2008, 12:47 AM

Very good - but I think I'd have rhymed Scum with Cum (again).

View original

I think that is The Best Comment Ever.
Not something you'd hear in everyday conversation! I clearly have a peurile mind!

Yeah very good James. Scans well and gets it all in.

If you don't like 50k then 50 Mil works without ruining anything and is correct in the context.

Nice one James.

Thanks guys

How about this version? Basically a different chorus my girlfriend thought up.
I added in the changing rudeness that plumbs the depths of pointless vulgarity... but I think this is the bag the 'satirical' shows are after, and I think it's funny...

Heather McCartney – by James L Williams

To the tune of “Eleanor Rigby” by The Beatles

Ah, look at Paul the lonely Beatle
Ah, look at Paul the lonely Beatle

Heather McCartney wipes up the spunk off the floor where her customer’s been
A whole basketball team.
Waits at the red light, wearing a leg that she keeps in a bag by the door;
Expensive whore.

Paul the lonely Beatle
Why does he pick such scum ?
Heather Mills McCartney
She never swallowed his cum.

Paul from the Beatles - eats veggie lasagne that tastes like an elephant’s ear.
Cries into his beer.
Look at him wanking - into his socks in the night now that Linda’s not there
Grey pubic hair.

Paul the lonely Beatle
Why does he pick such scum ?
Heather Mills McCartney
Wouldn’t take it up the bum.

Ah, look at Paul the lonely Beatle
Ah, look at Paul the lonely Beatle

Heather McCartney, wed and divorced in four years, has she no sense of shame?
She’s got half a brain
Paul from the Beatles, thinks fifty mill wasn’t worth it for just one crap lay
And she never shaved.

Paul the lonely Beatle
Why does he pick such scum ?
Heather Mills McCartney
She loves a rich man’s dong.

Both versions very good and probably no 2 edges it for me.

You should put your girlfriend on your writing staff james, the 'Paul the lonely Beatle' is comedy gold. Take out the wanking and newsrevue have to use it. Great song

"Paul the lonely Beatle" is a very good line.

I don't have 'Revolver' to hand, so can't comment whether the syllable count is right or not for every line, but it seems alright.