The All New Song competition.

Sweeping the boards at the moment is a craze for taking any famous song & adding your own words.
They are great fun to do & even better fun to read. So I asked if I could do a 'Song Sketch Competition'.
As this is the first one, you can add whatever song you like. Any subject.

Future subjects will be much like the Sketch Comp & chosen by us all. Its for points peeps!
I will kick it off with one I already done. Competition is open for 2 weeks.

Music from Grease (Summer Loving)

Modern Day Grease.

Danny
(To his friends) I met a girl, cute as can be. Nice pert tits & a well tight fanny.

Sandy
(To her friends) Met a boy down by the lock. His parents have money but he has a weeny cock.

Danny & Sandy
Summer days will never be the same, lots of sex, high on cocaine.

Friends girls
Oh, well-oh, well-oh, well-oh, uh!
Tell me more, tell me more like what savings has he saved

Friends boys
Tell me more, tell me more like is she hairy or shaved
Aha, mmm aha mmm, aha. Yey innit

Danny
We had sex in the alley & the back of a cab

Sandy
(Itches herself) I think he may have given me crabs

Shoot bob bob rob bob bob stab bob bob yeyyyyyyy

V/O
Whose bob?

THEY ALL SHRUG IN TIME TO THE BEAT.

Friends girls
Oh, well-oh, well-oh, well-oh, uh!
Tell me more, tell me more like could you be up the duff

Friends boys
Tell me more, tell me more like does the collar match the cuffs.
Aha,mmm aha, mmm aha. Yey innit

Danny
It grow colder, so I nicked the bitches coat & I ran

Sandy
I got a Private Detective to find him, gonna stalk that man.

DANNY
Summer fling, I shagged her ring oh uh huh those su hum mer nights

Sandy
Summer fling, will end with a wedding ring, oh uh huh those su hum mer nights

Charley! You are mad. Like it though, a little more work on the lyric and this could be a fine ditty.

Have a go Ray!

I fully intend to.

Here's one I wrote a while ago...it was for someone else, so don't be confused by it or my avatar, I'm not a girl!....It's also not that amazing, but the only other ones I've written are all for peoples birthdays and so specific to that person and would not make any sense on here....anyway here goes:

(to the tune of Love Affair - Everlasting Love)

Woke up today, feeling oh so bizarre
To my dismay, I couldn’t find my favourite bra
Where'd I put it, I really miss it lots
Have you seen it, it is pink with black spots

Open up your eyes, then you'll realise
Here I stand with my unsupported breasts

Need another bra, must be up to par
Can’t go very far with unsupported breasts

Can you help me please? Or else I’m gonna freeze
I’ll let you have a squeeze if you support my breasts

Need a bra to last forever
Need a bra to last forever

When I was young, nothing could go wrong
I could go along wearing just a vest

Here I stand today, grown in many ways
Longing for the days before I had a chest

Should I wear a different one? Though not as fun
A bad bra’s better than none to support my breasts

Need a bra to last forever
Need a bra to last forever

Open up your eyes, then you'll realise
Here I stand with my unsupported breasts

Need another bra, must be up to par
Can’t go very far with unsupported breasts

Can you help me please? Or else I’m gonna freeze
I’ll let you have a squeeze if you support my breasts

Chorus works well, verses could be tighter.

I have a song but I lost one of the verses so I've had to re-write it just now...

It's called We Didn't Start the Kettle

tea and coffee and hot juice
cappuccino, chocolate mousse
squirty cream, like a dream
hot chocolate with lots of steam

we didn't start the kettle
it was always boiling since the world's been toiling
we didn't start the kettle
no we didn't start it but we tried to <3 it

Ready Break, cup o soup
bovril, bisto, pot noodle
earl grey, made my way
but can't beat a good latte

we didn't start the kettle
it was always boiling since the world's been toiling
we didn't start the kettle
no we didn't start it but we tried to <3 it

Horlicks, ovaltine
esspresso coffee machine
get a cup, fill it up
got a nice warm drink to sup

we didn't start the kettle
it was always boiling since the world's been toiling
we didn't start the kettle
no we didn't start it but we tried to <3 it

I liked it Mana, think I'd have preferred the verses to be longer to fit with the real song, but obviously theres a limited amount of content material so you've done well with what was available!

Right - let's try the next song that comes on last.fm

EDIT shit. Wide Open Space by Mansun. Stick it in YouTube if you don't know the song.

Let's make it an ode to fox hunting. That, like Mansun, was popular for a while in the 90s.

This is pretty good for a random song and a 15-minute deadline IMO!

(guitar) ne nar ne nar ne nar ne nar ne nar ne nar

I love the thrill of the chase, I'm standing
I'm all alone the wind is whipping at my face

For animals I have no feeling
I don't mind smashing them with spades

I love the thrill of the chase, it's amazing
Foxes never get to heaven with a smile on their face from me
I love the thrill of the chase, it's bracing
I want to head off riding but I'm dying for a pee

I'm going hunting with Jilly, she's lovely
I want her off that mare and rolling in the hay

But now it's off on the hunt, with my dogs
I wonder how many foxes they are going to slay

I love the thrill of the chase, it's addictive
Foxes rarely get away from me, my dog and guns
I love the thrill of the chase, I'm a tory
I love it as much as playing with Jilly's buns

(break)

Thrill of the chase, it's morish
I stand on my farm staring into space
The thrill of the chase, it's not borish
Unlike gas, we kill the foxes with great grace

I love the thrill of he chase, it's amazing
Foxes never get to heaven with a smile on their face from me
I love the thrill of the chase, it's bracing
I want to head off riding but I'm dying for a pee

I love the thrill of the chase, it's addictive
Foxes rarely get away from me, my dog and guns
I love the thrill of the chase, I'm a tory
I love it as much as playing with Jilly's buns

"I WILL SURVIVE" - Student Version

First I was afraid
I was petrified,
When I knew I had to get a job
I nearly died

Cos' I'd spent so many nights just getting stoned with my big bong
But now it's gone,
And now I have to carry on

So now I'm back
With my degree,
Back living with my Mum and Dad
But temporarily

I should've took a longer course
I should've never come back home
Because the party's now come to an end
And now I'm on my own

"Go on now, go!
Walk out the door!
You lazy f**king c**t, you're not a student anymore"

That's what my Dad said, and it couldn't be denied
But I won't crumble,
I won't lay down and die

I will survive!
I will survive!
For as long as I've got my student loan
I know I'll stay alive
I've got a tenner in the bank
And a good strong arm to wank

I will survive
I will survive!

etc

To the tune of "Life on Mars":

It's a God awful small affair
It's only filled up three chairs,
One guy is getting up to go,
The host is telling him no,
The guy who invited me, is no where to be seen.
that jack-ass better have a good reason for where he's been
Oh god no, the host is taking out a board game,
I'm sure there is something else I could be doing this Halloween,
God this party is such a bore
There is only one chick I will never score
Oh wait that could even be a dude
As try to focus on,

how to exit this lame party
I say,
"Oh man!
look at the time go"
I had fun but I gotta go".
Take a look at the time,
it's already umm..7 oclock".
Oh man!
Wonder if he'll ever know
His party really blows.
I'm going to grab one of these and go *grabs a snack and runs out the door*

That's all i got so far. Also I am not in any way a comedy writer. I just thought the competition idea was fun. Also I thought Leevil's was the best...disturbing but funny.

I'm going to post a full song here but the one i've just written off the top of my head need censoring Heres the first verse anyways

I have a penis, Have you seen it?
Its very small and quite shy
Went to the cleaners, was covered teen shit
I should stop bumming that guy

Bum bum bum

Yey. Bumping for more peeps to have a go.

I Caught The Clap From You / Nothing Compares To You.

It's been itchy and it's really sore,
Since you put your dick inside of me,
I scratch all night and itch all day,
Since you put your dick inside of me,
Since you come it really burns to pee,
I can see a rash and ooze,

All the woman that you f**ked, fella,
In the back door,
Why couldn't we have done it that way?
I know that sleeping with you baby, I was a real retard,
But I'm going to make sure that you die,
Because I caught the clap,
I caught the clap, from you.