On pushing a bead up my nose when I was 6. (I purposefully rammed it up there)This was the excuse I gave the hospital, who spent hours getting it out.
What happened was that my friend Zoe dropped her pencil. I got on the floor & was crawling around to get it for her & Zoe popped off. Because it was smelly I took a big breath so I could hold it. The wind from either Zoe's bottom or my sharp intake of breath, caused the bead to fly up into my nose.
This happened on Thursday. My car was being mot'd so I had to take a taxi - a 17 minute journey through a couple of villages - to work. Driver took a different route from mine. 'Short cut?'. 'Yes, straight to Colerne.' He then took a road that said 'Not suitable for motor vehicles' which gradually turned into a mud track. He then admitted that he had followed the sat nav. We were totally stuck and could not even open the doors. I phoned school, the head teacher shrieked 'Polly what on earth are you doing in a TAXI!!??' (as if it was totally irresponsible of me and I should have guessed something like this was bound to happen). I had to crawl backwards out of the front window and as the track was unwalkable had to cross a few fields, dodging barbed wire, to meet another taxi sent out ... which had also got stuck in the mud. I eventually got to work, boots smothered in mud, and I'm sure the head still thinks it was an elaborate excuse that I made up. The taxi driver seemed to think I would be very grateful not to be charged for the journey.
Quote: jacparov @ February 11, 2008, 9:11 PMI never did homework at school and once said:
Sorry miss I can't do the home work, my parents pay taxes for you to educate me here which makes homework a form of taxation and as a socialist that is against my principles.
I wasn't popular with the teachers.
That is just pure genius.
Quote: puffinpol @ February 11, 2008, 10:04 PMThis happened on Thursday. My car was being mot'd so I had to take a taxi - a 17 minute journey through a couple of villages - to work. Driver took a different route from mine. 'Short cut?'. 'Yes, straight to Colerne.' He then took a road that said 'Not suitable for motor vehicles' which gradually turned into a mud track. He then admitted that he had followed the sat nav. We were totally stuck and could not even open the doors. I phoned school, the head teacher shrieked 'Polly what on earth are you doing in a TAXI!!??' (as if it was totally irresponsible of me and I should have guessed something like this was bound to happen). I had to crawl backwards out of the front window and as the track was unwalkable had to cross a few fields, dodging barbed wire, to meet another taxi sent out ... which had also got stuck in the mud. I eventually got to work, boots smothered in mud, and I'm sure the head still thinks it was an elaborate excuse that I made up. The taxi driver seemed to think I would be very grateful not to be charged for the journey.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh dear.
Quote: ajp29 @ February 11, 2008, 8:59 PMFor anything.
Stop hasseling me or i'll be forced to urinate, deficate and ejaculate all over your person.
You're the crazy old man on the bus!!!