BBC 69

BBC 69

Two people having a meeting (Dave and Jane)

Dave
You know this is a lean time for us at the BBC, no more noddy shots, Jeremy Paxman criticising the license fee.

Jane
What does that Judas think pays his seven figure salary.

Dave
Still there is a solution, if every one thinks we’ve gone down market, why don’t us, in a world of TV whores, why should the BBC be the only nun.

Jane
How do you mean?

Dave
Attenborough’s had millions to make the green planet, and the blue planet, now he can make us the very blue planet

Jane
Featuring wildlife footage of dogging in Essex car parks, and the mating ritual of birds flashing their bums in Dundee town centre.

Dave
Ainsley Harriots very bossy, give him a lycra apron, and a whip, and a kitchen full of sub missives who can’t cook.

Jane
Can’t cook, will cook, or will have a very sore bottom.

Dave
We could bring back the good life, only with more filth, and rolling in the bad, for the GILF lovers, we can get back Felicity Kendall,

Jane
The bad life.

David
How about this, one?

Shows Jane a clipboard.

Jane
A little bit niche, and probably not wholly legal.

David
I suppose the public isn’t ready for several men, and their dog…..yet

They walk off to the one and his dog theme.

Apart from some very badly phrased sentences I thought it was a bit obvious and cheap. Sorry

This was one of my first sketches performed by News Revue, worked quite nicely on the stage. Its got a sort of stacato delivery, of feeder line punch line, building upto a dirty joke at the end.

It's rough but it works.

I suppose for me it's an example of writitng for one's audience not one's self.

The thought of Attenborough doing a very blue planet has given me the serious giggles. I have all these images in my head now.
I think it is a great sketch. I fancy running down & putting on a porn film & Imagining Attenborough's commentary as he sits near them & observes.