ICU

SCENE . CORRIDOR OF INTENSIVE CARE UNIT. A MAN HAS BEEN RUSHED TO HOSPITAL AFTER A CAR ACCIDENT. THE DOCTOR IS TALKING TO THE MANS WIFE.

DOCTOR: Your husband is very poorly, but rest assured, we are doing everything we can.

WIFE: He was only going to the shops, bloody foreign drivers! He will be ok won’t he?

DOCTOR: We’ll know more in the morning. The next 24 hours will be critical. He is on a ventilator; we’re having to breathe for him.

CUT TO ICU, WE SEE THE DOCTORS AND NURSES STANDING WITH HANDS ON HIPS TAKING BIG BREATHES.

NURSE: Come along now, and in...and out...and in...and out.

very good Ray.

Slightly amusing Ray. Did this take a lot of thought?

Good idea, but could be slightly clearer,

Perhaps using one of those ugly foot pumps you get with air beds.

Or blowing into a plastic nipple in his ankle,

Or the woman says he's in BUPA so they bring out a classy hooker.