Gotta be Rowan'

GOTTA’ BE ROWAN

GORDON BROWN IS TALKING TO ROWAN WILLIAMS.

GORDON
Bishop Williams saying we should adopt Sharia law in this country is unacceptable, what has got into you?

ROWAN
I was watching Eastenders last night; and watching Tracy Slater shagging her father in law in an orange Primark nightie, I thought she needs to be stoned to death.

GORDON
But this is a Christian country, with Christian values.

ROWAN
No it isn’t; 90% of school kids think Beckham’s God, Ronald McDonalds Jesus, and White Lightning Cider is the path to redemption.

GORDON
Rowan how much of a Muslim fundamentalist have you become?

ROWAN
Quite a big one, Ala Aqubar your Scotch git!

BLOWS HIMSELF UP.

Pretty good SootyJ. I did giggle.
BTW it is Stacey Slater!

This could be developed into so much more. I would like to see Rowan Williams as a taxi driver/pub landlord "string 'em up" character - that could work as a motive for his 'wanting' Sharia law in the UK.

The ending and intro were weak and should be dropped but the middle could be developed further IMO.

This is a case of writing for your audience. If one is writing for TS or NS one has to have a definitive start, and a definitive conclusion. So pissed up audience know when it starts, and know when it finishes so probably does make it a bit forced.

Rowan Williams is doing a good enough job of making himself into an ongoing sitcom character.

Could do a "what silly thing is Rowan into this week?"

ala Jessy's Diets,

"This week I have mainly been beleiving in National Socialism,"

Thats a much better potential sketch than the original one sootyj. The original sketch needs some extra twists added to it namely a more comical reason why hes converting rather than jus suddenly becoming a sharia mentalist

ROWAN ROUND THE BEND
GORDON BROWN TO ROWAN WILLIAMS

GORDON
Rowan Williams I am very glad to hear you’ve knocked this Sharia law nonsense on the head.

ROWAN
That’s quite alright my new plan is to gather, all the Catholics, Muslims, Hindus and of course Jews into a series of large, ex Butlins camps.

GORDON
Good idea your holiness, like a multi faith festival of light, we’ll all join in mutual understanding and prayer.

ROWAN
Yes multi faith prayer, understanding, and death. We then bomb them and machine gun the survivors. It’s all in this great book; I’ve been reading Mein Kampf.

GORDON
Arch Bishop, that is disgusting, and I won’t allow it.

ROWAN
It’s not bloody fair, you won’t let me be an Islamic Fundamentalist, and now you won’t let me be a Nazi. I’m off to Westminster Cathedral to sulk.

ROWAN STALKS OFF

VO
Join us for more madcap laughs with Archbishop Rowan round the bend Williams, as he tries out radical feminism.

ROWAN

WALKS BACK ON HE IS WEARING A KAFTAN DRESS, HAS THICK UNDERARM HAIR, AND HAS A PLACARD READING
“ALL MARRIAGE IS RAPE”

GORDON
Get out.

ROWAN
Rapist

GORDON
Get out!

Is this what people are thinking of?

Rowan Williams idea to adopt Sharia law is a disgrace. We should cut his tongue off!