British Comedy Guide

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8pm. INT. PHONE CONVERSTAION

CONVERSATION BETWEEN NURSE/DOCTOR AND FAMILY OF PATIENT.

MRS ROBERTS
Hello, June speaking

NURSE/DOCTOR
Hello, its that Mrs Roberts?

MRS ROBERTS
Yes it is.

NURSE/DOCTOR
Hello Mrs Roberts, it’s ward sister Harvey Jones from Saint
Wednesbury’s.

MRS ROBERTS
Oh hello sister

NURSE/DOCTOR
Well we’ve got news about Ian, your brother in law?

MRS ROBERTS
(NERVOUS)
Oh, oh, my, you’ll need to speak to my husband..I’ll pass you over

MR ROBERTS
Hello sister, this is Mr Roberts, is there news.

NURSE/DOCTOR
Yes there is GOOD news, your brother Ian is no longer in a coma

MR ROBERTS
I’ll be right there….

CUT TO MR ROBERTS JUMPING IN HIS CAR, WIPING THE WINDSCREEP CLEAN AND RACING OFF, BATTLING TRAFFIC LIGHTS AND SLOW DRIVERS, HE RISKS DEATH AND IMPRISONMENT TO GET TO THE HOSPITAL

AT THE HOSPITAL MR ROBERTS FINDS HIMSELF FACE TO FACE WITH NURSE/DOCTOR

NURSE/DOCTOR
Mr Roberts?

MR ROBERTS
(OUT OF BREATH)
Yes sister? You’ve got good news…..my mother will be ecstatic

NURSE/DOCTOR
Well it’s good and bad to be honest; your brother is out of a coma

MR ROBERTS
Yes? But?

NURSE/DOCTOR
It’s not necessarily positive news

MR ROBERTS
Any news is good news

NURSE/DOCTOR
He’s very paralysed

MR ROBERTS
I suppose that's to be expected, how paralysed?

NURSE/DOCTOR
He’s dead

MR ROBERTS
(GLUM)
Oh Turd, that's not much of a future is it.

THE END

He can't fall into a comma, not unless he'd had semi colon-ic irrigation that went wrong, bringing him to a full stop! Sorry...couldn't resist :D

I think I'd like this better if it ended with "Any news is good news" followed by "He's dead"....just my opinion, probably best to take no notice :D

Trust me to get comma and coma mixed up...a got a C in GCSE English btw.

V. Good my friend!

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