SURBURBAN HOME DRIVEWAY. DAY. THE REAR DOOR OF A PEOPLE CARRIER IS OPEN AND THERE ARE SEVERAL CASES WAITING TO BE LOADED INTO THE CAR FOR A FAMILY HOLIDAY.
JOHNNY: We're never gonna get it all in dad.
DAD: Of course we are. Have a little faith lad.
MUM TURNS UP WITH A HUGE TRUNK.
DAD: What the hell is in there?
MUM: Shoes.
DAD: What? Just shoes? We're only going for a week - you can't need all that lot.
MUM: You men just don't understand.
DAD: Too bloody right I don't. You can take three pairs max.
MUM: Okay, okay...
DAD: Right, let's get the rest of this in.
SCREEN GOES BLANK AND FADES IN AS THE FAMILY FORCE DIFFERENT ITEMS IN THE BACK. EVENTUALLY THEY MANAGE TO CLOSE THE DOOR.
DAD: Heey! What did I tell you Johnny boy? I knew we'd get it all in.
JOHNNY ROLLS HIS EYS
DAD: C'mon, let's get going.
THEY WALK TO THE FRONT OF THE CAR TO SEE THE FRONT TWO SEATS PILED TO THE ROOF IN BAGGAGE.
MUM: It's no good - you're just going to have to take out the quad bikes.
JOHNNY & DAD: WHAT? NO WAY!
JOHNNY: If they don't go then neither do I.
DAD OPENS THE REAR PASSENGER DOOR AND AN OLD WOMAN FALLS OUT CLOSELY FOLLOWED BY MORE EXCESS BAGGAGE.
DAD: Mother? Out!
DAD POINTS AWAY FROM THE CAR AND GRANNY LOOKS UPSET
SCREEN FADES AND FADES IN TO SEE THE PEOPLE CARRIER DRIVING OFF WITH JOHNNY STANDING ON A SURFBOARD ON THE ROOF WITH ALL THE SHOES ATTACHED TO THE BACK AS IF ON A WEDDING CAR. THEN GRANNY APPEARS IN SHOT DRIVING THE QUAD BIKE AND WEARING A HELL'S ANGEL JACKET AND HELMET.
END
