Docusoap Sketch

Ext. Outside house. Night.

Ted (30), a policeman, is outside a house with Lance (35), an RSPCA officer. They are part of a TV docusoap. Ted looks into the camera. Loud barking is heard coming from the house.

Ted: We've had several reports of animal cruelty taking place at this address. And, as you can hear, there's quite a bit of noise coming from inside. The owner isn't answering the door, so we're going to have to take action.

Ted leans back and then kicks the door open. Ted and Lance run in and to the kitchen. The cameraman follows them.

Ted: (O.O.V) Jesus Christ! You sick bastard.

The cameraman enters the kitchen. A man, wearing just pants, is locked in a small cage on the floor. A terrier is sitting on a chair looking down at the man.

Ends

Not sure about this... at the moment an "idea" is there - the old inversion of something - I'm just not sure it's that funny as it stands. I feel like it needs something more. Having said that, if the dog was a relly cute one that might be all it needs.

Maybe if the dog was crouched on the cage taking a dump on the man, and looked up guiltily as they came in. Now that IS sick!

Yea, that would do it if it was, say, a Bijon-Fris (don't know how to spell it)

A couple of things occur to me here:

Firstly, in the context of a one-off sketch, do we need to know the names and ages of the characters? I mean, would it be less funny if both men were in their 20s or 40s rather than specifically 30 and 35? And would it be less funny if they were Joe and Harry rather than Ted and Lance? I don't think so.

It would be more usual to write something like:

"EXT. OUTSIDE HOUSE. NIGHT.

A POLICEMAN IS OUTSIDE A HOUSE WITH AN RSPCA OFFICER. THEY ARE PART OF A TV DOCUSOAP. THE POLICEMAN LOOKS INTO THE CAMERA. LOUD BARKING IS HEARD COMING FROM THE HOUSE.

POLICEMAN:
We've had several reports of animal cruelty . . ."

Secondly, it might be funnier if the animal was something that would normally be in a cage. That would create a complete reversal of expectation. Even better, perhaps, if the animal were watching TV and drinking a can of lager?

Agree with COF re: ages and names. Good call, imo. Less in a sketch is better.

I enjoyed this and liked the inversion here but there are possibly funnier ones you can end on.

Yes, I was thinking earlier about ending on something like a dog drinking lager. If I could handle animation then I'd have a go, but I cant!

Personally I find the whole anthropomorphism a bit cliche. If done well, it can be funny, but I think just having the dog sat there with a can of lager is a bit lazy. Having said that, I think it does improve on the original sketch.

I would like to see you go back to you're darker stuff Winterlight. This for me, while being a perfectly broadcastable sketch doesn't have that little something extra. Something completely unexpected like a guy in a dog costume in a gimp mask being beaten up by another man in latex. But thats more of a Trigger Happy thing. So my advice would be to go darker and shock the audience.