It's a dog eat dog world.
>_<
The worlds best ever sketch (guaranteed) Page 2
New and improved version with now new extra added fun. Plus a competition to count the comedy sketch references!
A MAN ENTERS A SHOP. SIGN SAYS "STONEYBRIDGE OLYMPIC EMPORIUM"
MAN:
Hello can I purchase four candles please? And a digital watch - whatever that is?
SHOPKEEPER:
Fine, Suits you sir. Do you mean Fork Handles?
MAN:
No I'm having a memorial for my parrot
SHOPKEEPER:
Your aubergine d potato e tomato a aubergine d parrot! Are you sure he's not just sleeping?
MAN:
No he died of that Nudge, Nudge, wink, wink.
SHOPKEEPER:
Over-eating bloody daffodils?
MAN:
No he caught the bad Aides. Strange really because he was the only gay in the Birdcage.
SHOPKEEPER:
Yes that's very common with Brown baby parrots. When did all this happen?
MAN:
In 1977 my parrot didn't die. In 1978 my parrot didn't die. In 1979 my parrot didn't die. In 1980 my parrot died
SHOPKEEPER:
I will get you your Four Candles right away sir, because I am Working Class. Margaret, Margaret...
MAN:
That's your wife, that is! She's my wife now.
SHOPKEEPER:
Is there anything else sir, in the best possible taste obviously? Opal fruit perhaps?
MAN:
Yeah, but no, but yeah, but no. I also want the blandest thing on the menu. I have brought my list with me, but not necessarily in the right order.
END
SPANISH INQUISITION:
Oh Bugger!
Well done mate. 'The blandest thing on the menu' and the Jim line worked really well. Both versions are good.
'Because i am working class' is also excellent.
Ditto Godot. Nice.