Hello plant growers. Thought a long time about sending this one 'cos the meeting Jesus/God/Virgin Mary thing has been done to death. But what's another murder eh?
Bar Miracles
I was sitting in this bar see, and this longhaired bloke sidled up to me and
says “ Hey buddy, if you buy me a drink I’ll solve world hunger”.
I looked at him, as you do, an I said ‘F**k off!’ As you would.
No really he says “I’m Jesus, the second coming, here saving the Earth”.
So I said “Neer! F**k off, you’re just some old tramp trying to fleece me for a beer. Pissed I may be, stupid I’m not!” So there an then like he turned my beer into water.
“You c**t!” I said “wha’ dya do that for?”
“To prove I am the Son of God, the Messiah”
“Right then” I says “ All I got to do is buy you a drink an’ you’ll solve world hunger.”
“Yes” He says.
“What about me?” I asks cleverly, “wos in it for me? I mean it’s quite a long way to the bar and like they ‘aint f**king giving it away now are they?”
“You can take the credit,” He says.
Well, I looks at the bar and it’s bastard two deep right along it’s length.
“Naa, f**k it” I says, “I can’t be asked.” Low and behold if he don’t disappear into thin air.
Anyway, I wakes up the next morning, and da ya know what. I was f**king starving.
