NAP TIME GEORGE
GEORGE BUSH, DICK CHENEY, AND AN AIDE WALK ON.
CHENEY
Now George this is a very important press conference, we need to convince the UN we’ve got an idea of how to end this Iraq mess successfully, so from the top
BUSH
Sure thing Dick, my fellow Americans right now, we’ve got 20,000 brave, American troops turning over, every village, looking under all the Burkhas for
CHENEY
Good
BUSH
Kryptonite, and once the whole countries Kryptonite free, I call superman he flies in, and it’s mission completed.
CHENEY
No damn it!
AIDE
Besides how do we know Super Man would consider us the good guys…..
(CHENEY PULLS OUT A PISTOL, AND SHOOTS AIDE, FALLS TO THE FLOOR DEAD)
CHENEY
Damn pinkos get everywhere, ok George lets try again
BUSH
We get this bitchin’ detective who’s an expert at carrying out undercover investigations, he searches the whole country for terrorists, and when he’s all done he don’t find them, but just as he’s about to leave he turns to Iraq, and says just one more question, and reveals he knew it was the restaurant owner all along.
CHENEY
Does he wear a dirty coat, have a gammy eye, and a beagle?
BUSH
Yes, do you know him, he’s real good, and he arrested captain Kirk last week?
CHENEY
It’s Columbo, you moron!, we’re going to have to go over the basics again.
(CHENEY PULLS OUT A WOODEN SPOON, AND CLIPS GEORGE OVER THE HEAD WITH IT, GEORGE COWERS IN A BALL)
GEORGE
Ow! I’ll be good, don’t hit me again, don’t lock George in the closet, I’ll be good daddy.
(GEORGE COWERS IN A BALL, CHENEY GIVES HIM A TOWEL)
GEORGE
My blanket
(GEORGE GETS UP)
CHENEY
Don’t make me have to do that again, you’re a big boy now,
(GEORGE GETS UP)
GEORGE
Ok Dick I’m good to go, to get out of Iraq we’ll increase troop levels by 30,000, and we’ll buy a totally awesome missile defence system in Europe that’ll restart the cold war, and piss off all our NATO allies…
CHENEY
That’s so unbelievably stupid, it’s…….what were actually doing, oh hell
(CHENEY DRAWS GUN AGAIN POINTS IT AT GEORGE THEN SHOOTS HIMSELF FALLING TO THE GROUND)
GEORGE
Gee Dick why you on the floor, is it nap time already?
(GB LIES ON THE FLOOR THUMB IN MOUTH, TOWEL IN HAND AND SLEEPS)
it's really old, but fancied seeing how some of my old unsuccesful skits needed sprucing up
Edit: Capitalisation etc.