A news reader is reading the news
NEWSREADER:
now we shall go to shadow minister of financial…er…money, we shall go to Liberal MP Nigel Hattersbey
NIGEL HATTERSBEY:
good evening
NEWSREADER:
people are scared that England is heading towards a recession, do they have good reason to believe this or is it media hype?
NH:
yes, firstly we must stay calm, secondly we need to keep spending as much money as possible, in effect we can spend through or spend away the recession
NEWSREADER
spend away the recession; how exactly do you advise to do this?
NH:
The best way to boost the economy is spend, I believe the way to beat the recession by using the three S’s,
SPEND SPEND SPEND and when you have done that spend some more
NEWSREADERS:
where do people get the money for this spending splurge
NH:
credit cards and loans, spend now, worry later was what my Father told me
NEWSREADERS:
Are there any dangers to this policy
NH:
well some people will inevitable not be able to reply the loans, fall into a debt spiral and become bankrupt, allowing these people to rise up from the ruins like a phoenix from the flames. Whilst people who avoid this will feel the benefit from the increased spending with a boom economy, growth in most sectors and the highest employment levels since 1990.
NEWSREADER:
so you are advising people to file for bankruptcy
NH:
definitely, when you become bankrupt they can’t make you pay back all your loans and the debts just disappear into a black hole, leaving you to start again.
NEWSREADER:
what about the banks, surely they would suffer great losses
NH:
definitely but if anyone can afford to take a hit it’s the banks who are sitting on years of profits. So if anyone is going to suffer slightly from this economic plan I don’t the man on the street will worry if the banks profits are down this financial year.
NEWSREADER:
critics will say this is another crowd pleasing policy from the Liberal Democrats which would never work in practice
NH:
the reason the other parties are critising the policy is because it is superior to their own policy's which all warn of an impending recession due to the American financial markets, this policy leaves the financial control in the hands of the British people and in those hands will be credit cards.
NEWSREADER:
this will mean a dramatic change to a lot of people
NH:
well actually I believe you are wrong, many people are currently spending wildly already and there are thousands becoming bankrupt each year, all I’m asking is for another 10 percent of people to become bankrupt and people to increase spending by 30 percent. If you focus on the positives, think of all the extra holidays, TV’s and cars we will all own. The other plus is when people become bankrupt, those who are not will be able to buy their goods for knockdown prices
NEWSREADER:
will you implementing this policy yourself
NH:
indeed I will and after looking at my finances this morning I predict I will become bankrupt in one months time
NEWSREADER:
well that’s all we have time for I hope you at home are comforted by the words of the soon to be bankrupt shadow minister of finance for the liberal democrats Nigel Hattersbey
