Hi guys. Just after views on whether it is worth Dave & I taking this any further. Obviously needs more work. Cheers.
(Ps Sorry Dave I changed the title to what I want) 
BOO!
VIEWERS CAN SEE ALL THE GHOSTS INCLUDING THE ONES THAT TAKE OVER TERENCES BODY!!!!!!!
Terrence is a medium. Formerly he was a theatrical agent but when his three clients all died in a car crash,they contacted him from beyond the grave. So he turned his hand to becoming a medium.
THE MAIN GHOSTS
Montgomery, a 60 year old with the voice of Donald Sinden, Eric, a cheeky cockney chappie in his thirties and Katrina, a woman in her 30's with an accent - from somewhere in Europe.
SCENE - A DARKENED ROOM - TERRENCE IS SITTING AT A TABLE HOLDING HANDS OF AN ELDERLY LADY IN A LONG WOOLLY COAT AND HAT. THE SPIRIT OF MONTGOMERY IS STANDING BESIDE HIM
TERRENCE
Is there anybody there? Knock once for yes.
THERE ARE 2 KNOCKS
TERRENCE (LOOKING ANNOYED)
2 knocks means no.
OLD LADY (HELPFULLY)
There could be 2 people there.
TERRENCE
Yes - I know there could, but in this instance I know there's only one.
MONTGOMERY
That OAP has a terrible whiff coming off her Terence. It is making one feel quite sick. She has a wee bag & It smells like scrambled egg!
TERRENCE
(Ignores Montgomery)Now where was I?
OLD LADY
You asked if anyone was there.
TERRENCE
Oh yes. Right. Knock once....
OLD LADY
We've just done that
THERE IS ANOTHER KNOCK
OLD LADY (GETTING VERY, VERY EXCITED)
My Cyril is that you?
ANOTHER KNOCK
TERRENCE
Can you speak to us?
MONTGOMMERY JUMPS INTO TERENCE CAUSING TERENCES EYES TO ROLL & A SPOOKY POSH VOICE SPEAKS
Yes
OLD LADY
(Frowning) Cyril?
SPOOKY VOICE (Coming from Terence)
Hello my little woolly wombat.
OLD LADY
(Puzzled) Why are you talking to me in a funny voice Duck?
TERRENCE
(Jolts back)That's just the way the sound waves come over the ether.
OLD LADY
But he lost his voice - he had throat cancer.
TERRENCE
Yes but - in heaven everything is back as it was when he was healthy.
OLD LADY
I did presume that - but he was Scottish.
SPOOKY VOICE (from Terence)(PUTTING ON A BAD SCOTTISH ACCENT)
That's just my wee sense of humour pet. Remember the cancer never got to that Hen.
OLD LADY
(Scratching her chin) Hmmmm! You were very grouchy towards the end, especialy when the grandkids try to pull you out of your death bed. Anyway about this odd voice...
SPOOKY VOICE
Och aye - the nooooooooh (followed by lots of throaty orc noises)
OLD LADY
Sounds to me like the cancer may still be affecting your throat.
TERRENCE
Hold on a minute! (Terence walks out behind the curtain and calls Montgommery, who exits his body.
TERRENCE
(To Montgommery) Look this is ridiculous. Can you not go & get Cyril from the spirit world.
MONTGOMERY
No! He doesn’t want to speak to her. He is up there with some OAP called Edna & he reckons she is the love of his life.
CUT TO
AN OLD COUPLE IN THE SPIRIT WORLD GETTING IT ON GROSSLY
CUT BACK
Terence
Well just go & bring back some other Scottish fella then. One who can actually talk Scottish.
TERENCE RETURNS TO THE OLD LADY. HOLDS UP A FINGER TO SAY ONE MOMENT
A SAVAGE LOOKING SCOTTISH BRAVEHEART FROM YEARS BACK IN HISTORY ENTERS THE ROOM & JUMPS INTO TERENCE,CAUSING HIS EYES TO ROLL
TERENCE AKA BRAVEHEART (Very broad Scottish accent)
Hi there my wee darling. (Throaty cackles)
OLD LADY
Oh Cyril I know its you now!
TERENCE’S ARMS COME UP & GRAP THE OLD LADYS BREASTS. THEY START TO MASSAGE THEM. SCOTTISH ORCS & AHHS ESCAPING FROM TERENCES MOUTH.
MONTGOMERY
Ooooooooooof!
OLD LADY
(Closes her eyes in passion)
Oh yes it is definatley my Cyril. I'd recognise those gropings anywhere.
THE SPIRIT JOLTS OUT OF TERENCE & DISAPEARS, LEAVING TERENCE WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT HE IS GROPING AN OLD LADYS BREASTS. TERENCE JUMPS & STARTS TO RUB HIS HANDS DISGUSTEDLY ON HIS SHIRT.
TERRENCE USHERS THE LADY OUT WHO IS LOOKING VERY SATISFIED. SHE PAYS HIM A 50 POUND NOTE AND GOES OUT OF THE DOOR.
TERRENCE (KISSES THE NOTE).
Fifty smackeroonies. Thank you. God I earned that though. That was disssssgusting.
FEMALE EAST EUROPEAN SPIRIT APPEARS.(Katrina)
There is man with no legs in wheelchair in waiting room.
TERENCE
Right that’s Adam Jones. I know who he wants to talk too. I will go & wheel him in. You go & get his girlfriend Sophie form the spirit world.
TERENCE WHEELS IN ADAM THEN SITS OPPOSITE HIM. KATRINA APPEARS WITH A PAIR OF LEGS.
KATRINA
I cant find Sophie but I found Adam Jones’s legs.
TERENCE
(Smiles awkwardly at Adam) One moment please. (He grabs Katrina by the arm & ushers her behind the curtain)
I don’t want his legs. How can he have a comforting conversation with them. Go & find Sophie.
(Terence returns to the table)
KATRINA DISAPEARS & REAPEARS WITH A BEAUTIFUL BLONDE WOMAN IN HER EARLY 20’S. THE GIRL JUMPS INTO TERENCE CAUSING HIS EYES TO ROLL
TERENCE AKA SOPHIE
(Grabs Adams hand)(In a sexy female voice) Hello Adam. Its me. Sophie.
ADAM
(Starts to sob) Oh Sophie I miss you everyday. I am so sorry for the accident.
TERENCE AKA SOPHIE
It’s okay. I don’t blame you. Sure you didn’t really need to have those extra 4 bottles of beer & yes maybe you could have seen that tree before you hit it, oh and the way you selfishly swerved, causing my side of the car to hit, but I want you to know I am okay here. I hold no ill will. (Grabs Adam by the throat) You F**king bastard.
ADAM STARTS TO CHOKE. TERENCE REMOVES HIS HANDS & SITS BACK DOWN HE IS STILL AS SOPHIE.
I want you to know Adam that I have your legs with me in the spirit world. Its amazing. They can dance & run. I look after them. Sometimes I do pinch & kick them, but only when I feel sad about my situation & miss my family.
CUT TO SOPHIE WITH THE LEGS IN THE SPIRIT WORLD.
CUT BACK
ADAM IS SOBBING.
SOPHIE LEAVES TERENCE.
ADAM PAYS TERRENCE & WHEELS HIMSELF OUT OF THE ROOM, STILL SOBBING.
KATRINA
We making more money for you now than we ever did when we alive.
MALE COCKNEY SPIRIT APPEARS (ERIC)
Makes you wonder if he set the whole thing up in the first place, dunnit.
TERRENCE
Well if you were as good an actors as you are dead people, I'd have had no trouble placing work for you.
ERIC (POKING HIS FINGER AT TERRENCE)
Look sunshine I could have been the next Marlon Brando, You watch your lip.
MONTGOMERY
Yes - you need us more than we need you.
TERRENCE
Well I would pay you - if there was any way that I could think of. But what can I give you? What do you need? Except me to haunt.
KATRINA
He does have point really. What else would we do with our time. Spirit world can be boring?
ERIC
Yes well. No taking us for granted - is that understood? Or we could make things really difficult for you. We could get some right nasty spirits, know what I mean.
TERENCE
(Shaky) Nasty?
KATRINA
Yes in spirit world we have Pol Pot Geist.
TERENCE
(Scared) Gosh!
