RESPECT 2
A MAN IS SPEAKING TO HIS BOSS
MAN
So the scumbag, stares at me for 10 minutes, and then waves a fiver at me like I’m some sort of tramp, course I gave him a slap.
BOSS
Jimmy you’re no longer a doorman, you’re a pole dancer, people pay to watch you dance.
MAN
Respects respect
BOSS
Jimmy maybe we can find you a job in the back of the club, do you think you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose with your eyes shut?
MAN
Aye so long as no one disrespects me.
Yep. Think it has to be a black actor doing it but I like it. Good one! 
That doesn't mean I don't like black actors!
oh dear I wrote it for comedy unit, and was looking for a scots feel, maybe I should make him Jewish?
It's just the disrespects line. Just seems like it would either come from a black street dude or 'is it 'cos I'm black' from the Cohen boy! But I would make it more outwardly Scottish. However I would imagine it would automatically be thought of in a Scots accent if it was for the comedy unit.
But you've had a lot more success with sketches than me so go with your feeling. [I'm quite happy when I get 1 or 2 in for NR then I see your name whacked down several times- swine!]
well haven't got so many in this month?
with regards to my success think of the episode of King of the Hill, where Bobby asks Boomhauer how he gets so many ladeis, and finds out he jsuts chats every one up even when it gets him slapped
Hi Joe
I like this ex-bouncer character and think he has lots of potential. If you want to imply the Scottishness then write it that way.
Listen to the dialect and speech patterns then put little touches in here and there. Not the entire piece though because those who don't understand the rhythm of the speech will possibly swith off as they will have a very disjointed reading experience.
Suggest something like:
A MAN IS SPEAKING TO HIS BOSS
MAN
So the scumbag, stares at me for 10 minutes, and then waves a fiver at me like I’m some sort of tramp, course I gie him a slap.
BOSS
Jimmy yer no' a doorman any more, you’re a pole dancer, people pay to watch you dance.
MAN
Respects respect
BOSS
Jimmy maybe we can find you a job in the back of the club, do you think you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose with your eyes shut?
MAN
Aye so long as no one disrespects me.
Yep what Blenkinsop said.
I think you could get some mileage out of this character getting jobs he's obviously not fit for eg. Midwife, Judge, Therapist and such like