Very well done sooty, made me laugh (and that's before I've taken my medication).
Provisional licence to kill Page 2
made me smile. I'd just change this:
POLICE
I see sir this is a provisional licence to kill, it's only for dead legs, and Chinese burns.
To:
POLICE
I see sir this is a provisional licence to kill, it only covers choke holds and some mild eye gouging I'm afraid.
I enjoyed this one Sooty.
I can't fault it, but I can see why there's been a few suggestions.
Good ideas often get that sort of feedback.